Pieces of Me

10:21 a.m.

2012-02-01T10:31:00.015-07:00

It was 10:21 a.m. when they first laid her on my chest.

I'll never forget that moment.

The smell of her head, the sound of her breathing, the softness of her skin, all of it.

"Nice to meet you," I whispered through the tears.

The nurse slowly turned the blinds in an upward angle and the brightness of the outside light hurt my eyes.

"Is that snow?" I wondered out loud.

"Yes!" she cheered.

"In a city that rarely sees the white stuff, this is a rare gift," she explained, knowing we were new to the area.

A rare gift.

I nodded, like I was agreeing with her, but my mind was wandering in a million other directions.

Thoughts were spinning about this baby on my chest, I wondered what she would be like, look like and would she really resemble me or parallel her dad, and what would she care about, fancy or hold dear?

I remember that.

The absolute wonderment and intense intimidation of this,

my "rare gift",

laid peacefully on my chest at 10:21 a.m.

Payton celebrated her 11th birthday last month. I looked through my picture files and although there's an abundance of great snapshots of the kid, I really liked this one.

I thought it proclaimed, "PAYTON" so very well.

Just 11, but still it seems,

a lot of those questions I craved,

the ones floating aimlessly, with such uncertainty, the morning of her birth...

reveal themselves and become more apparent.

A vision of my frightened, exhausted self emerges.

What I would give to tell her now,

Don't be afraid.

She's going to be pretty and kind and good.

She will be smart, hard working, responsible and a tremendous help to you.

She's going to be passionate about soccer and running, competitive and determined with an inner drive that will have you wondering where it came from and wishing you had it!

She'll keep you on your toes spiritually and push you to be better.

She'll be goofy and fun and you'll enjoy spending time with her. You'll be close and get along. She'll be your fashion consultant and youngest confidant.

Then one day you'll realize,

more than any other thing, she will fill a hole in your heart.

An empty, barren space,

an absence of a sister,

filled with the presence of a daughter.

A rare gift.

One you will treasure and thank Heavenly Father for,

every, single day.

h o l i d a y

2012-01-04T11:04:00.002-07:00

From Collages

for the soul

2011-12-12T15:12:00.007-07:00

(Logan Ladies, some, but sadly, not ALL)

We become the person we want to be, when we BE the person we want to become.

(can't remember who said it, but mama like)

When I visit my "ladies" I come away wanting to BE so much more than I am, because they give me the desire to live better and the confidence to spread my wings and TRY. Amidst engrossing conversations, a few tearful moments, deeeelicious food, and a whole lot of laughs, I learned a lot of worthy things on my mama hiatus. Putting my Time Out For Women, free, leather bound journal to use, I jotted some "worthies" on the miniature, striped paper, and days later when I pulled the petite book from my bag, reading over the lines, a flood of emotions rushed over me.

Oh, how I missed the "ladies."

Visits together

are like therapy for the soul.

Thank you for reminding me,

to share from the heart
to not let our dreams think we've forgotten them
to pick one thing and do it well
to focus on the things people can't see not just the things they can
some things are more important than others
image melts away fast
the influence of a good women lasts
which wolf will win, the one you feed
gently apply, don't pump (insider)
Emily is, most certainly, the angel of the school (insider)
Tower of spending (insider)
StrOganoff, NOT StrAganoff, Stephano! (I am laughing as I type, Em!)

Lastly,

It's not what you do, but how you make people FEEL.

*****************************************************

Ladies, as you know, I'm usually FULL of words,

but to find the right ones to thank you is seemingly perplexing.

Plainly put but most sincere,

your friendship is invaluable to me.

Loves.........

the mr.

2011-11-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

From Collages

He's getting big,

and

MAMA DON'T LIKE!

Baby, oh baby, stop growing up so fast.

this and that, and a whole lot of grateful

2011-11-07T14:24:00.016-07:00

When you live in a small home with 6 people, you need to be organized.

Well, we're NOT.

Bob argued, "You're TERRIBLY unorganized!"

Before I could hang my head and sulk, he finished with, "....and I'm even worse!"

He was forgiven.

Consequently, Friday date night tuned into a mission of organization. We hit Sonic first for our favorite drinks, accompanied by piping hot, salty, delicious tots and then headed to Lowes where we strolled the aisles gathering "this and that" with high hopes of "this and that" restoring order to our noticeably unorderly home.

The next day was spent cleaning, taking loads of unused "this and that's" to Goodwill. Hanging and assembling our new "this and that's" so that shelves and hooks could house the backpacks, jackets, swim bags, soccer duffels, and everything else that didn't have an official dwelling spot besides right smack in the middle of my floor!

I concede, Bob spending the day checking off items on my long list of, "Please Honey Do!"

.....totally my love language.

Watching him measure, hang, and load hooks with kid's garb, knowing I won't have to trip on another backpack, made me want to marry him all over again.

Things are in somewhat better order, and it feels nice.

I'll sit back and sip on "nice" for a day or two, cuz Mama knows...

it won't last long.

__________________________________________________________________________________

During the weekend rally to institute order round' here, I came to a pretty BIG realization.

Our house is small, filled with little people and loads of little things,

and that can sometimes feel cramped.

Then I watched the kids help Bob and I all day, stopping now and then, to play an imaginary game together or grab snacks from the cupboard and run around the yard laughing, sharing Goldfish.

In the midst of me worrying about what we didn't have I shined the the flashlight of my attention on what we did.

Suddenly, cramped felt pretty good.

Cramped doesn't feel alone.

Cramped feels FULL, and FULL of LOVE makes a happy home, no matter the size or value.

For my home,

and especially my little lovies,

abiding within,

I'm a whole lot of grateful.

******************************

Push STOP on the Good Noise player located on the upper right. Play the video below.

Prepare for wet eyes and a warm, melted heart.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T11:06:00.003-06:00

From Halloween 2011

From Pumpkin painting

**********************************************************************************

........and the Pumpkin Patch too.

From Owen's first bus ride.

From Pumpkin patch

cancelled subscription

2011-10-29T11:15:00.008-06:00

Owen uses pencils, pens, and kitchen utensils as players in his make-believe football games, cuz if my boy aint' outside playin' it, he's inside improvising!

I could be wrong, but I can't help but to think if I had a close up shot of Bob at this age, it would be identical to this one of Owen.

Leaning over the office counter, I quickly scribble my John Hancock across the volunteer badge before making my way into Avery's classroom for the afternoon.

Owen's K teacher happens to walk by.

"Mrs. H", I call.

Stopping, she turns in my direction.

Me: "How are you?"

Her: "Oh, good, thanks."

Me: "Great. How is Owen doing today?"

"Owen," she says, pausing....

AWKWARD MOMENT,

then she slings,

"He's doing......... alright."

Alright?

Just alright?

Hmmm.......

I'm standing there thinking of what to say next when she comes quickly towards me.

"Ya know, I've noticed he spends a lot of time twirling the back of his hair. It's become quite a habit."

Nodding, knowing she's right. I concur.

I'm stumped. This comment about his hair wasn't something I expected.

"Ya," I respond,

"We should probably just cut his hair," falls out of my mouth before I can catch it and shove it back in.

To that, she gives me the squint eyed, pierced lipped look, (the one that says, I think so, without saying anything at all) nods, and goes on her merry way.

*****************************************

Yup, you bet the over analyzer in me has been a mullin' over that one for the past few days!

I went through the ole' camera and found recent pics. of Owen sporting his mangy mop.

Fact of the matter is: I'm secretly digging his do.

However, after the incident in the hall with his K teacher, and comments here and there from others, I really have contemplated snipping his strands.

Ya see, one of my "problemos" is,

(I confess and Bob tactfully reminds)

I care TOO much what people think.

Then, today, while lazily enjoying my Sat. morning (the first one in months without an early morning soccer game),curled up on the couch wrapped in my favorite blanket, I was watching Andrew Luck's interview with my Logan Lady Stephanie's old crush, Steve Young, and Andrew said something that's sticking pleasantly with me, like the chorus of a good song.

"If you subscribe to what other people say, it just gets in your head.

I don't subscribe to what people say."

To that, I decreed,

Mrs. H,

"I AIN'T SUBSCRIBING!"

(Bad grammar, for this English teacher, is synonymous with cuss words, wink wink.)

.......and with that,

the unruly, rangy, dirty blond locks,

remain.

first moves

2011-10-14T15:26:00.018-06:00

Remember when we were dating,

and neither of us were daring enough to say, "I love you."

So, one day, when we were driving in your car, on our way to drop me home, I had a "moment", where I was feelin' all over the moon about you, and although my inner crazy felt like shouting it, I just wasn't brave enough yet for the BIG words, so instead I threw out a little diddy like this......

"Like (cuz I said that a lot then too) I pretty much love you, Robert McBride."

.....and there ya had it.

Remember when we were dating,

and you would drive an hour and a half to my little, white house in Logan and stay til' the wee hours of the morning but had to leave and drive like a mad man through all the small farm towns in order to make it back to Pocatello in time for your early morning football meetings?

You stood on my back porch for hours, craving a good night kiss, but not brave enough to lay the first one on me. You played softly with my hands and looked tenderly into my eyes but just didn't have the courage to graze my lips.

So I grabbed hold of your big self and pulled ya in real tight. I kissed ya all romantic, just like the actresses in those soaps I was so into back then.

....and there ya had it.

Remember when we were dating,

and we would spend hours upon hours chattin' it up on the old telephone? My roommates were darn near appalled by my phone bill, and I was in shock too, as it was hundreds of dollars this girl didn't have! I remember calling my parents and shamefully begging them to help with the payment, the ONLY time in my entire college career I had to borrow money from my folks. My pocketbook nor my heart could take it any longer. I was ready to seal the deal on this relationship.

So late one night in the middle of one of our conversations, I interrupted ya mid-sentence because I wasn't listening to a thing you were sayin' anyway and blurted out my best proposal...

"So, should we get married?"

......and there ya had it.

Fifteen years and four kids later here we are celebratin' your 38th.

Maybe I should apologize that it was ME who made all the bold first moves, but if that's what it took to snag YOU,

I'd do it .....

again, and again, and again.

f a m i l y p i c s

2011-10-10T15:17:00.021-06:00

Family pics.

I rate em' right up there

with
plucking eyebrows.

Cringe at em' both.

Despise em' really.

Not the pics. per say,

cuz' amazingly enough

little miracles take place

with each click of the lens

and a few actually turn out....

surprisingly nice.

It's the PROCESS,

I really dislike.

The gettin' it all together.

The weighty chore of figuring out what to wear,

everyone looking just right,

at the exact same moment.

It's darn near impossible really.
Oh, but we moms practically die trying.
.

I have the privilege of being dear friends with the talented Whimsy Pix,

when she called this morning stressing about which and what

to wear for her family pics.

I knew.

I knew it was a curse.
Prep for family pics. was an unavoidable curse.

That girl's got more talent, style and down right awesome flare,

than I could ever dream to have,

and even SHE stresses about family pics.

I was reminded today and lately too, how much a conversation with a good friend "lifts."

It's like therapy.
I forget when I'm feeling the weight of the world,
that my load isn't much heavier

or different, for that matter,

than anyone else.

It seems, when I open up, with unfeigned conversation

I find this to be TRUE.

Undoubtedly true.

I believe it's crucial that we,
"Vent", or "Share", if you will,

refrain from judgment,
but rather, take time to listen, relate, and LOVE.

The impact?

Growth, aid, and comfort,

to name a very, small few.

I'm thankful for the reminder,
we are all in this together, more similar than we will ever know.

I've been blessed my entire life,

with AMAZING friends.
Friends who listen without judgment,
forgive me of my follies,
accept me the way I am,
support and lend me their hand
and most importantly...
love me.

Cuz this girl's a lover,
and Oh how I LOVE my friends.

BIG, BIG, BIG

each and every one.

I didn't listen when Whimsy Pix advised, "Never bare your arms. 3/4 sleeves are always best." Darn, I wish I'd taken heed, and POOR Bob, completely uncomfortable with any display of PDA!

Not me, I'd devour him in public if he'd let me! wink, wink

This, of the girls, one of my faves.

Sure easy to spot my two cheesballs, A?!

Mr. Max, captured in his very true colors.

Yo, Avery....camera's this way!

Avery is missing shoes in every family shoot we've ever done.

It is NO surprise to me that one of Max's only words is, OWEN!

Thank you, gifted Cynthia for your patience with my family and the beautiful pictures you captured in the midst of our little clan's chaos!

K

2011-09-30T10:24:00.006-06:00

All spruced up for his big day.

Kindergarten 2011

Maple Grove Elementary

Name tag and folder, it's feelin' official.

Pretty sure frenzied butterflies are sworming bout' now.

Deep breaths, Owen.

Holy....DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS!

It was tough leaving you, O....especially when you started to cry.

Mama didn't want to go, even when your teacher pushed/ushered me out the door, assuring me you'd be just fine.

I politely obliged and strolled Mr. Max right out into the hall, pretending to leave.

Then, real inconspicuously, I walked past your room a measly twenty times or so.

You were still crying.

I couldn't leave.

Max and I camped outside your classroom door for what seemed an eternity, ready to run in and whisk you away if need be.

Ya settled down. Ya sang songs. Ya started to smile.

Ya had a good time.

.....then it was just me and the Mr., feeling jealous of Kindergarten and your lucky friends who get to enjoy YOU the entire afternoon.

Now Mr. Max, tell me.

How do you feel about Owen's new adventure and leavin' you home all alone with Mama?

From Collages

U huh. I thought so.

pumped up kicks

2011-09-27T10:35:00.078-06:00

From Collages

Mama just couldn't commit this year to swim team's 5 days a week, early morning practices.
So this past summa' vacay, we did track instead.

That's right, we traded in swim caps and goggles for...

pumped up kicks.

The kids looked forward to those Thursday evening meets. We spent hours out there in the smoldering heat picnicking, playing, and cheering fast feet across finish lines.

Id like to think it was the opportunity of quality time with their parents my little sprinters enjoyed so much, but this mama AINT' NO FOOL.

It had something to do with earning shiny ribbons, and everything to do with the promise of a cool, sweet treat from DQ afterwards......

that kept their little motors movin'!

Capitol Classic

2011-09-14T15:11:00.005-06:00

From Classic

From Collages

Fast, downhill course, fat medals distributed at the finish, and a rockin' after party.

The Capitol Classic is so................

OUR KIND OF RACE!

Ran their little hearts out, they did.

Girls ran first and out of almost 700 little ladies

ranging from age 7-14,

Miss Payton was SECOND to cross the finish line.

Miss Avery took almost 5 min. off her last year's time,

and Mr. Owen and his bestie, Cole....ran the entire way!

Sure regret not having any pics. of the junior racers in flight, but with Bob MIA, and me (the entire race) stuck in a hairy wrestling match with an ornery grizzly cub named, Max....

it just didn't happen.

...

2011-09-12T10:45:00.001-06:00

McCall on steroids

2011-09-11T06:26:00.003-06:00

From Collages

From Collages

From Collages

From Collages

From Collages

(Talented Rush Blue, sweeping the tournament in Bend, Oregon...coming away once again, with a first place medal!)

Road tripped to Bend, just me and my soccer lovin' girl. Sipped soda and sucked the salt off sunflower seeds til' our swollen tongues felt numb against our notably raw cheeks. We shoulder shook and head bobbed to Jack Johnson, and before we knew it our wheels rolled into town.

We were immediately greeted by Mt. Bachelor and Jefferson, two snow capped peaks sitting above the city, welcoming us to picturesque Bend. Who knew? I certainly did not. I had no idea my weekend away with my girl would be spent in a place I can only describe as McCall on steroids.

We stayed in a little resort tucked back in the woods and nestled down by the river, a river who quickly became my friend as I woke early and joined her for a run along her curvy figure over and around dirt trails sprinkled with wild flowers and bulging river rock.

Most of the day Payton was busy with her team, this left time for me to just be. I took my book down to the pool and layed in quiet, uninterrupted, bliss almost giddy about the situation, me basking in sunshine with no kids, job, house to clean, or meals to cook. When I wasn't relishing in the serenity of aloneness I was joining the other parents for lunch, dinner, shopping, river floating, and site seeing, in a city that stole my heart and beckons me to return.

As extraordinary as being just "me" for the weekend was, without a baby on my hip, little ones at my feet, and a big, busy puzzle of daily chaos just a waitin' for my assembling,

the fabulousness was trumped by moments with HER.

Thank you, Miss Payton, for forgoing slumber with the rest of your team in a giant sea of silky, nylon bags accompanied by brightly colored pillow cases in the middle of the family room floor, to retire to my room, snuggle, chat, laugh and snooze... with me.

Thank you, Miss Payton, for running into my arms after each game and thanking me for being there and telling me how happy you were that I was.

Thank you, Miss Payton, for waiting in the middle of the river, paddling desperately to stay in place, screaming, "mom" and encouraging me to catch up so you could link your arm in mine and we could float the rest of the way, together.

I sure relished in my time "away" cheering my girl to victory in a city of grand beauty, building memories I'll not too soon forget, but quite honestly, Pay, it was the simple moments shared with YOU, that meant the most.

XOXOXO

MOM

G E O R G I A

2011-09-06T11:32:00.008-06:00

Trips with our "Bronco Buddies" have become a tradition. We hit the big games together and scream, shout, and ROAR the Broncos to a victory. I don't know what it is about this time of year, this sport, this team, these friends, that brings us so much joy, but I must say.....THEY DO!

When growing up we would take a few family trips now and then. During the vacation my dad would refer to ALL of us as "fun seekers". Let's go "fun seekers", whose with me "fun seekers", what's next "fun seekers?" I always loved that chipper term and more so the man who delivered it. Among many of life's lessons my dad taught, ....Happiness can be found seeking fun with those you care about, is one of my favorites.

Guess what I'm trying to say is, thanks.

Thanks, "Bronco Buddies", for being some terrific, "fun seeking" friends!

From Movies

s e v e n

2011-08-22T20:45:00.003-06:00

She has a wildly, invaluable imagination. She is Junie B. and Romona Q. all bundled up in ONE. She's sassy and quick witted, and the unrivaled teacher of patience and tolerance. She knows one volume and speed. She's a lover of pickles, popsicles and everything purple. She dreams of being a jockey and rides her horse, Ginger (incognito as a rip-stick scooter) all hours of the day. She is my mini-me, I'm told, a hasty comfort to the sad and a greathearted gifter of love.

From Movies

A face tells a thousand words.

"Are ya kiddin', mom, really? The tradition is to MAKE a fun cake for our birthdays, and this sure isn't the rock n' roll, roller skate I chose and you promised to deliver!"

Well, mama tried, but let's be real, the cake decorating skills belong to Robert, and since he was too busy to assist, the skate was a flop and a sweet treat from Dairy Queen became the surrogate.

Nevertheless, she made a wish.

.....and something bout' her expression tells me she's inventive enough to know

the wish isn't contingent upon the cake.

And her hopes for one coming true,

are just the same.

For you, Miss Avery J, my spicy seven year old girl...

I'd walk to the moon.

xoxoxo

Mom

t r a d i t i o n

2011-08-03T14:50:00.021-06:00

A Memorial Day tradition mobilized when we moved to the area, close enough to visit the grave sight of Bob's dad, who lost his battle to cancer when Bob was just six years old. Payton was a wee babe then. I have a pic. of the three of us standing just as we are presently, smiling behind the head stone. It's kind of surreal to see us now, how much we've grown as a family, and I'm not just speaking of size and numbers.

Bob's been out of town a lot in the last few weeks. In the midst of feeling empty and sad without him, I'm reminded how FULL he makes our world and grateful for his LOVE and fervor in constructing a good life for us.

From horse riding

I'm appreciative for this tradition he holds us to and what it teaches our children about remembering those who lived before, even those who fought and died for our freedom. It's favored by the kids, for sure, because afterwards we retire to the ranch where they take joy in Uncle Barry's horse rides.

From Collages

....and I don't think there's any place on earth, my horse lovin' girl would rather be.

It works out rather well for Bob and myself too, enjoying Aunt Phyllis's contagious, happy spirit, and devouring her delicious home made treats, like moist chocolate cupcakes smothered in buttery smooth, silky cocoa frosting.

....and I can't help but to wonder when I see Bob with his uncle, if his adoration for him stems a bit from the wonderment that Uncle Barry, being so close to his dad, is perhaps a little bit...

like he might have been.

Every time we pull out of town, and proceed to the open road, I turn and take a gander, one by one, of my sweet baby's faces. Sure makes me sad to think of leaving this life so young without my little crew, as Robert's dad did, but I know full well and have great faith in the "plan." I look out the window, not wanting Bob to see, and try to hide the moisture with my over sized shades, but my eyes take a swim as a picture of the back side of Danny's head stone rolls forward in my mind. Five children left behind, each with their name en graven perfectly in a formation of lineage on the course, gray stone. I take a moment, consider Bob and his siblings, and can't help but to think how proud their dad must be of each, and not for any other accomplishment more than that of....

the lives they've created with their families.

FREEDOM

2011-07-21T15:16:00.010-06:00

Over a month and NO updates. I regret that. I've got a big bag of excuses but perhaps it boils down to one, FREEDOM. Being a slave to the computer 9 months out of the year, makes me shy from it during the summer season, and even though I love to document our happenings and take a breather now and then to "write" what's on my mind, weighing on my shoulders, or tuggin' at my heart..........wait it must.

At least this is what my inner voice conveys as the pictures heap and the "moments" we've experienced this summer reuniting with friends and family, racing, boating, vacationing, and just lounging with the kids.....tarry tolerantly for a post.

From Max in the tub

Until then, here's the Mr.

...still coveting bath time and crackin' up the fam with his fabricated, cheese ball, dramatic, attention seekin' EXPRESSIONS!

celebratin'

2011-06-06T20:11:00.013-06:00

From Max's 1st

From Max cake

It's hard to believe the pages in your first year of life have completely turned.

Your birth captivated our hearts, filled a space within, and made our family complete.

The joy and smiles you have brought over the past 12 months have most certainly, enriched our lives.

Our love for you, completely immeasurable.

Oh boy can daily cheer be found perched quietly on your enticing cheeks and undoubtedly felt by devouring your sweet, chunkyness!

Simply put, we adore you.

It's a good life, Max.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

Nervous energy

2011-06-02T14:55:00.007-06:00

From Payton track

Nervous energy is good for one thing.........winning.

Those mad butterflies carried Payton first across the finish line, in both her running events.
Walking away from her first track meet with blue ribbons was most certainly groovy, but the real excitement stemmed from the aftermath. The phone call came today, requesting her information and promising a letter, THE official letter inviting her to State, in good ole' Rexburg, Idaho! If that nervous energy can nudge her first across the finish line there too......an all expense paid trip to Hershey Pennsylvania, where's she wined, dined and able to compete against the fastest kids in the nation, will be her fortune. Now we have no idea how this cookie's going to crumble, but I must admit... the thought of it ALL, releases a whole lot of nervous energy, and I wish I were just speaking for the young one with fleeting limbs!

maybe a thousand

2011-05-23T14:48:00.025-06:00

From owen 1st day

I shed a tear or two or maybe a hundred, 9 months ago, the day Owen started pre-school.

Cousin Beckham was in town visiting. I just happened to notice that the grey Beatles T, Beck is sportin' in the photo above, is ironically enough, the same Mr. Max is wearing at this very moment. Sure am grateful for hand me downs, and for a sister in law with good taste!

From Owen pre-school graduation

I shed a tear or two or maybe a hundred, just last week, the day Owen waved good-bye to friends and wonderful teacher Summers, shuffled away wearing his paper cap and holding a fancy certificate, credentials and validation for learning brass tacks,

and just like that...............his pre-school days are behind him.

From kid pic.

Mr. O has been my side-kick for 5 momentous years. I'll keep him close and have him to myself all summer long, but in mid August when the night winds start to cool and the buzz of a new school year rings in the air,

I'll shed a tear, or two, or maybe this time.......a thousand.......because then "inevitable" arrives, taking Owen by the hand and leading him forward, onward, schoolward, while Mama is left standing in the shadows, mustering up the strength...........

to face the music and let him soar.

From jump

Braggin' rights

2011-04-21T20:17:00.009-06:00

From Coach Pete Run

I BEAT PETE!

......said I was gonna!

Ya beat Pete around here, ya get braggin' rights and a t-shirt to prove it!

Congrats to my speedy Payton, who I tried desperately to keep up with but only lasted a measly 10 yards, and all my fast friends who earned the "winning" shirt.

Hats off to Uncle J. who came all the way from Twin Falls to join us for the big race. We love you, buddy!

Pete, you know how we hate to see you lose

...................unless it's to US and the annual Beat Pete Scholarship Run!

Hot Babes in Monkey Suits

2011-04-14T13:03:00.009-06:00

Who throws the tots in the vehicle and drives 10 hours through the lowly desert, in a last minute effort to bask in blue skies and feel Mr. Sunshine's kisses?

WE DO!

After lugging a chunky monkey and his bag of necessities, the big, old camera seemed an added nuisance. I surrendered the MM and chose to snap shots with my nifty new phone instead. Sad ending to the story is I can't quite figure out how to get the darn things downloaded to the P0000ter!

I'm on a mission to download portraits, hopefully sooner than later.......

cuz' something tells me the G'ma's are dying for more shots of the hot babe in his monkey suit!

P.S. I am laughing. I just looked over the post and noticed Bob's hole and wound vac are showin'. It's so second nature round here, I didn't even regard it! Sorry for the eye sore, ignore and focus on Max's amazin' baby figure, chunka legs and all!

Cheap Thrills

2011-04-12T10:32:00.004-06:00

You've made it pretty apparent you're partial to your pops, but I'll never forget you said, "Ma ma" first! Thanks for the cheap thrill, Mr. Max.

P.S. I've been tuckin' the inner cheese ball down tight. It squeaks out just a little when videotaping, but I think this clip is substantial evidence me's a trying.

To My Favorite 5 Year Old

2011-03-20T21:34:00.012-06:00

From Owen's birthday

From Owen birthday

From Owen's birthday

Happy 5th, Owen boy.

You are my gentle, shy, big-hearted boy. I wouldn't say your Dad's right about everything, but when he says you've got me wrapped around your finger, I'm afraid he's dead on. You see, you won my heart from the very beginning. You were the perfect baby, sleeping through the night at just 2 months. Even as a toddler you never gave me a moment's grief. Minus a few episodes and phases, you've pretty much been unceasingly easy going, good and cheerful.

Not much has changed today, except you're bigger, infatuated with sports and Boise State football, can dribble a ball better than this point guard could in high school, love Pre-school, playing with your buddy Cole, making Max laugh, and following your sisters everywhere. You are my side kick, my every day, "turkey sandwich and chocolate milk lovin' lunch date", my wrestling opponent, my "unload the dishwasher and empty the trash cans" helper, and my giant bear hugger. You are your daddy's boy, missing him while he works and insisting on sitting next to him every night at the dinner table.

I'm grateful for your kindness, Owen, for your million and one, "thank you, mom's", and your consistently pleasant, "sure" when I ask a favor. You wear the sweetest smile across your fair skinned, delicate face. An expression that softens my heart, and makes me think,

"Man, I'm privileged to be your mother. "

I love ya BIG, kid.....and always will.

Yo Ladies

2011-03-16T10:13:00.020-06:00

...all the ladies.

(especially my G'mas)

Just thought you might want to know I bruised the scales at my 9 mo. check up weighing 17 lbs. I even jumped the charts from the lowly 5th right up to the 10th percentile.

Last week I slept through the night for the very first time. Mom sung a happy tune all day, which makes me wonder if there was a sliver of a correlation.

I'm crawling around in the forward range. My style's something else. You can check it out on the video below, but I'm warning ya, mom and dad sound down right ridiculous, especially mom, who has learned the hard way to zip her lips while videotaping!

From Max

See what I mean?!

The last pics. are of me and Owen. I've overheard Dad say it's too bad we're 4 years apart. There aint nothin' bad about our age difference. Ya see, Dad isn't home all day to witness Owen and I playing. We're so loud together, when mom's on the phone, her friends ask who is over visiting.

So here we are, showing off our mad football skills. Ya sure, mom might have busted me pulling a face mask or two, but like Great Grandpa Peterson used to say, "If ya didn't cheat, ya must not have wanted to win bad enough!"

From Max

......and I think that sounds like a mighty fine motto indeed. (wink, wink)

Love,

Mr. Max

2011-03-09T15:14:00.006-07:00

From owen

Bob hooked to an IV antibiotic for a few hours in the morning is good for one thing, ME ...leaving baby Max at home, in his care, and fleeing the joint for some field trip time with two of my favorite people.

Check out Owen's score. I know it's bumper bowling, but a 114?! Shoot, this girl took bowling in college and you don't see me securing a 114.

Oh, and our matching outfits.....yes, I am queen cheese, but I swear THAT wasn't planned.

Avery's class spent the morning downtown at the library, Historical and Art Museums. I always thought my dream job was the story-time gal, you know me, dramatic and telling stories, but after the tour, I added docent to my list of adventures I'd someday really like to do.

Bottom line, most days I'm overwhelmed. Life's been throwing us some curve balls, and instead of connecting and hitting em' out of the park, arms pumping in the air as we sprint victoriously around the bases, that curve ball seems to keep tagging us in the shoulder, and here we are again shamefully, painfully, barely making our way around the bases.

And so I seek "moments. " Moments of of calm and enjoyment, moments, not days or weeks, etc. In small and simple ways feelings of relief and normalcy are grasped, and in the past, I never would have said it, but RIGHT NOW, for me, it's true. Time away on a field trip with my little ones............ seemed to provide just that.

Derby racin'

2011-03-02T10:00:00.008-07:00

From Derby

Pay and her dad had a splendid good time designing, cutting, sanding, painting, and especially decorating their first Derby car.

With Bob's lack of skills and experience, I must admit, I was a little worried about the outcome.

Mama was impressed with the final result. But no one was as happy and as excited as Miss Payton, herself.

The big Derby race happened the night of her birthday. I'll never forget my girl standing shoulders hunched, mouth turned upward in a smirk, cheeks ever so flushed, utterly embarrassed.....

as the entire crowd sang her the merriment song.

After that, the race was on, and much to our surprise, her Derby car won two races.

Yup, that put her right up there in the Top Ten.

Unfortunately, the W's stopped there.

But hey, there were no sore losers in this household that night, which really is a feat in itself.

Just before we went upstairs to retire to our beds, everyone took one last look at the car, sitting right smack in the middle of the kitchen table, in all its fluorescent green glory.

The kids were wide eyed and chuckling as their irreverent dad summed up the provision,

Holding it high in the air he shouted, "BAD ASS meets BLING!"

Prudish me shook my head and rolled my eyes, but showered with bedazzled jewels and accompanied by fire blazin' stickers,

I had to agree.

Bob says.....

2011-02-27T14:13:00.014-07:00

Bob says the theme of the blog for the last 9 months is, MAX. Yup, he says all my posts are about Max, Max, Max, Max, and....................Max.

Well, ....................not today.

The older kids were gone all weekend, over in Twin Falls visiting Clint and Amy for a day, then to the McBride's for the annual Tea Party Robert's family throws for the kids every year. Because of Bob's health, we had to stay back at the homestead. It was a quiet, uneventful weekend, which was a blissfully welcomed change from the chaos our Saturdays usually bring, and although we missed the chilluns', and the rocking Hollywood Tea Party.....I must admit, the quality time with Bob was, well, refreshing.

It's amazing how our busy lives pull us in so many directions. Sometimes it feels as if Bob and I are business partners, working pretty soundly together running our little McBride family corporation. Although we're happy doing so, it seems like more often than not.... Bob and I, as a couple, get lost in that shuffle.

After this weekend, with all our uninterrupted conversations, pleasant dinners at restaurants of our choice, ya, like NOT Burger King, staying up late, snackin' and watching movies, I felt like we were dating again, and I realized how much I missed my boyfriend, Bob.

Promises were made, promises to be better, better at taking time for each other. Better at placing "date night" on the priority list, and even, at least twice a year, getting away from ALL the grind and going somewhere, just the two of us.

Ya, YOU promised, boyfriend Bob

.....and this girl's gonna hold ya to it!

(P.S. Max accompanied us every where we went....all weekend long. Yes, the littlest side kick was still here, but I did a fabulous job not to mention him in this post. Well, almost.)

Day 5

2011-02-16T09:07:00.012-07:00

Day 5 produced one grumpy, tired, impatient mama.

Day 5 brought fighting, sad, irritable kids.

Day 5 delivered restless legs and a near anxiety attack for the one in the cage.

Day 5 rendered a flat tire.

Day 5 presented Max, filling the inside of my shoe with an enormous amount of puke.

Day 5 cultivated the realization that my much anticipated Logan Lady reunion, planned for over a year, in marvelous Monterey CA....for me, wasn't happenin'.

Day 5 provided the understanding that he would be home bound for three weeks with an open wound, hooked to a wound vac, IV antibiotics, and a daily visit (for his sake) from one HOT home health care nurse.

Day 5 brought a lot of whining, moaning, growling and complainin' to the "support system." (Sorry y'all.)

Finally, Day 5 devised a Simon Burch, overwhelmingly sad moment when the kids paused in the parking lot, jumping wildly, little arms a flappin', a sign to their dad, who stood alone in the window of the 5th floor lobby, blowing kisses, and waving "good bye."

Yup, past their bed time, three bawling kids, one sleeping baby, and an exhausted, teary eyed mama reluctantly climbed into the car and drove away begrudgingly, once again, without him.

Day 5 of Bob in medical lock down, in desperation for freedom outside poorly decorated, pastel painted walls......is OVER. Fortunately for us, it went down with the sun. Mal said there had to be a silver lining somewhere, and today, day 6.......this girl's determined to find it.

Thank you friends, family, and even jubilant baby Max, for gifting us "light moments"...... on a day full of heavies.

From Collages

Mr. Max's first love......tub time.

takin' off

2011-02-09T21:48:00.011-07:00

From Max

Mr. Max is up on all fours, rockin' away. Back and forth, forward and back...baby boy's gearing for take off. He's quick to fall flat on his belly and scoot himself backwards around a room. Yup, there's a whole lot of reversing going on, but so far, nothing in the forward range.

On a completely unrelated note, Max was given a new nickname by the boys in Bob's church class. They swear Max has an uncanny resemblance to Dewey, the youngest character on the television series, Malcolm in the Middle. I've never seen the show, so I had to Google the kid.

I have one thing to say about that.

Holy Dewey!

And if they ever need someone to play Dewey's younger self, well .......we've got their man!

l.o.v.e.

2011-02-07T12:13:00.013-07:00

From Collages

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." -Morrie Schwartz

Amen, Morrie Schwartz. As I sat with the kids yesterday cutting, coloring, and pasting hearts, I thought about the enormous, heart pumpin' love I feel for them, their dad, and even my dear friends and family. I decided then and there to try this month, in simple ways, to show, sprinkle, shower and spread......the love.....to those around me, because in the midst of my busy, mostly chaotic, every day life, spreading love just hasn't been on the "to do" list, or nowhere near it for that matter. So, it's settled. Spreading love has advanced to the top and TRUE efforts are going to be made because believe me, I know all too well, love is just a word.............. UNLESS WE GIVE IT MEANING.

sunny bliss

2011-02-02T09:46:00.008-07:00

Apparently Mr. G-hog did NOT see his shadow. That's some good news, and I'll take it. Boy could I use an early spring and then it's just a jump, skip, and hopefully small baby step, away from..........................

sunny bliss and perfect summer days like this!

From boating 2010

p.a.r.t.y.

2011-01-31T11:20:00.003-07:00

From Pay's day

From Pay's b-day

u-what?

2011-01-25T11:28:00.016-07:00

It didn't take long before Bob and I discovered Mr. Max had completely miss-matched ears.

Yup, Max's left ear......an exact replica of mine, and the right, that would be Bob's.

Miss-matched ears........Weird? Unattractive? Goofy?

Naaaaah.......we'll go with Rare, Adorable, and my all time fave........

UNIQUE.

(wink, wink)

side kicks

2011-01-24T08:56:00.007-07:00

From boys in the tub

O and Max.....my every day side kicks.

I heart side-kicks.

reunion

2011-01-22T11:22:00.017-07:00

Early this morning vanilla GU wet my tongue and slid slowly down my throat. It was the first time I'd tasted the stuff since my marathon, almost a year and a half ago.

Last night I finished my novel. Kim gave it to me for Christmas. When I opened the package a flood of emotions rolled over me. Jeannette Walls also wrote, The Glass Castle, a novel that twisted my heart strings so forcefully that as embarrassing as it is to admit, it had me researching, emailing and maybe even mildly stalking Ms. Walls. I didn't know if I should read Half Broke Horses. Her previous novel had me crying afterwards for three straight days. Bob found me sobbing in the shower one morning and shaking his head he lectured, "You just can't read books like that!" I'm happy to report I didn't cry one time during or after the novel. It was nowhere near the emotional roller coaster as her first, and I enjoyed it immensely.

I finished The Help over the Christmas break. My only complaint, I didn't feel I had real closure, and really that isn't a complaint but more of a compliment to Ms. Stockett, because her characters were so vibrant, heroic and noteworthy in my book, that when the novel sadly came to a close, I was left feeling hungry for more. To her characters, I just wasn't yet ready to say, "good-bye."

Isn't it funny, that after 8 hard months with a newborn, it's the subtle things (a long run accompanied by a taste of GU and finishing two delicious novels) that bring us back to ourselves, reminding us of who we are, and giving us hope that our old life is waiting patiently for us, just around the bend. Quite possibly, before I know it, we'll stumble upon each other and when we do, I envision myself, arms wide and out-stretched, welcoming in that old life, quite certain.......

It will be one glorious reunion.

da big boyz

2011-01-18T12:50:00.012-07:00

From Bob hunting

Found these pics. hiding on my camera this morning.

I'm still bewildered.

Up before roosters, trudging through wintry temps, only to bury themselves in freezing snow to wait for a bird?

GET OUT!

No intent to offend the avid hunter, but I have to admit......

this looks like a piping hot bowl of MISERY to me!

And if this is what the big boys do for fun..........

Well, I ain't never felt so lucky to be a GIRL!

a decade

2011-01-13T14:14:00.014-07:00

From Collages

(Miss Pay, a go getter, a hard worker, an example to her siblings, and a maker of one proud mama)

.....a decade ago, today, she was born, changing my life forever, turning me into something bigger than I ever thought I'd be.....a mother. Who would have thunk that I would relish in that roll, that it would mean more to me than any other element in this big, out-stretched world, that she and her siblings would be the crew, the driving force that help me strive every day to speak kinder, be, and do.....so much better. I owe them a lot for giving me that gift, so when I'm sacrificing, running ragged, doing all I can.....for them, I just consider it little pieces of my pay back.

I've spent the entire week scurrying around like mad doing every little thing in my super mama powers to make Pay's day sublime. It's times like today, when I'm overwhelmed, which seems more often than not, I think of my own mother. I wonder how she did it. My days as a child seemed relatively calm, our home unusually tidy and clean, delicious meals served, fun family adventures were had, and birthdays were full of simple but special things that made us feel loved. Try as I may, to do the same, for me, it seems like such a chaotic struggle.

I hate to admit it, but I've always been hard on my mom, and that's probably an understatement. I haven't been forgiving, and guiltily I cut my mom a pretty small slice of that loathsome "slack"pie. I'm sorry it's taken walking up, down, and all around in her shoes before I could look back, reflect, and say whole heartedly, "I get it."

I get that she tried. She undoubtedly tried. For that, I am genuinely grateful.

I think a lot about my own kids, how they view me, will treat me, and if when they get older they'll want me in their life or consider me more of a nuisance. I'm sincerely hoping they'll give me a generous portion of "slack" pie, and suppose I better start doing better at serving it myself.

I sure learned quick that this parenthood thing isn't easy. It's a juggling act of all kinds of sorts, and I find myself clumsily dropping balls, falling short, and even some days, down right failing. But at this very moment, on this special day, the 10th birthday of my first born, I have concluded.........

I'm trying, oh, how I'm trying.

I witness mothers around me trying, and my own mother tried too. And really, the unmistakable truth is, as long as we're sincerely trying , they'll know.

They'll know...............

they're loved, and THAT, is the only thing that matters.

simple joys

2011-01-07T09:04:00.009-07:00

It's been almost 8 months since I shared this post.

It's strange to look back and realize our assumptions were that something was genetically wrong with Baby boy, and all the while, he was genetically just fine, but because of two true knots in my umbilical cord, he was dying and we were closer to losing him than I like to think about.

I've let myself give in to those thoughts and to the thoughts of Ms. Emily's cancer winning her physical battle, but then I stop because those thoughts could quite possibly erode a gaping hole in my heart.

As I attempt to engage with the complexities of life, I arrive at an insight.

We CAN keep going. We HAVE the will to fight against relentless obstacles. Love, care, and concern of others can CARRY us when we are too weak to walk.

I know this to be true.

Words can't express how grateful I am for people in my life who have taught me this, done this for me.

Oh, the complexities of life, I'll leave them to someone else. Instead, this incomplex girl will take comfort in the simplicity of life, like a day spent with these two below. Because that day brought real joy, and I whole heartedly believe...

It is the small and simple joys we experience that guide us to the most intricate path of happiness.

(Emily + Max = true fighters, lovers of life, and givers of joy and happiness.)

From Drop Box

Ahhh.....Christmas.

2011-01-02T22:12:00.015-07:00

Christmas 2010

Big surprises

Hand-tied faves

Comical excitement

.....and pink, rock star, hair extension thrills!

I forewarned Bob that Christmas was going to be SIMPLE. I try to "cut back" every year. This Christmas season, I thought I'd accomplished the task quite successfully, until Bob took one flabbergasted look at the loot.

He turned my way. In all seriousness he wide-eyed replied, "I think you might have single handedly pulled our economy out of a recession."

......and he says I'm dramatic?!

farewell

2010-12-22T23:28:00.008-07:00

....and just like that, the season closes.

The Broncos kicked some Ute booty tonight, and boy was I glad. The game was a bit closer than I had anticipated, and the first quarter was enough to give me a heart attack and send me into major "panic mode."

Never again, I say.

Never again do I stay home and wave good-bye as Bob and our "Bronco buddies" head out on the open road in pursuit of a bowl game. Me, without my game day posse, it just wasn't right. Lesson learned.....

I can't watch a big game without em'.

I called Bob and begged and pleaded for him to turn around, drive the enormous motor home back the 11 hours, and "pick this girl up!"

Ridiculous, I know, but it's the honest (and pathetic) truth.

I stayed because I couldn't fathom leaving my babes again. I didn't have the GUTS to ask anyone to tend them. It was so close to Christmas and I was nowhere near ready.......so I stayed, gave my ticket to Bob's little brother (Who I am so happy was able to go. There's NO bigger fan than J.!) and stayed.

I knew it was the right decision, but I have to admit, it KILLED me!

Graciously, I had a handful of offers from friends to join em' for the game. To each, I pleasantly declined. I knew, as to NOT embarrass myself, I had to watch the game at home, with only my kids, who other than Bob, family, and the "Bronco buddies", were used to this crazed, "cuckoo bird" fan standing the entirety of the game, pacing the floor, panicking, cussing, squealing, clapping, screaming and hoot hollering at all sorts of loud octavals.

Unfortunately, watching it alone, turned out pretty terrible too.

I'm sad it's all over. Bronco football is serious fun stuff. I guess all I can do now is anxiously await next year, all the while crossing my fingers for a perfect season, a big bowl game, and winning the lottery, so I can bring my kids along, join Bob, J., our "Bronco buddies" and whoever else gets a charge out of......

maniacal cheerin'

the Broncos to a victory.

f e t i s h

2010-12-18T17:17:00.005-07:00

From Max's feet

I simply can't get enough of Max's feet. These adorable, soft, kissable, tiny hooves and tootsies.....

have kindled a serious

FOOT FETISH.

c h r i s t m a s c a r d s

2010-12-13T14:42:00.013-07:00

Strep throat made its way through our house like a freight train. A bad tempered ear infection latched on to Avery, and the pitiful flu bug bit us all. The number of sheets I've changed and amount of times I've been puked and pooped on in the last few weeks, too many to count. Max and Owen still can't shake their coughs, and a peaceful, restful night of sleep....seems to be a thing of the past. Oh...Tis' the season!

The sun was shining and the weather was unusually warm today. I skipped eagerly to the mailbox, my one and only outing (besides taking the girls to and from school) and happily pulled out a stack of Christmas cards. There were names of old friends, old co-workers, past students of mine, family and friends all placed neatly on an array of envelopes. A tidal wave of emotions rolled over me as I carefully opened each one. Every face, every smile brought a memory, good memories and happy thoughts.

I can easily say receiving Christmas cards from family and friends old and new is one of my very favorite things. I love to be reminded of all those people out there, close and afar, whose presence in my life has meant something and who will always hold a BIG place in my heart. I also enjoy the opportunity I have to proudly display them, in all their glory, smiling merrily on a Christmas card, hanging from my front hallway door.

Ah, Christmas cards, thank you for being a bright spot in my seemingly dull day.

After all were opened I wandered into the office and dug through a mess of papers trying to locate our own Christmas cards from years past. I was able to find as many as 8 years back. I got a kick out of em' and had a grandiose plan to scan and post them here and under each one, add a clever remark, mostly just poking fun of Bob. O.K, ONLY poking fun of Bob! I'll have to save that post for another time, like when everyone around here is well, I can type with both hands freely (Max is on my lap at this very moment), and I don't have a million and one WAY more important things I should be doing.

It makes me wonder.....

Will that day ever come?!

Because I looooooooooooooooong for the day

that it does.

an update.

2010-11-30T13:59:00.021-07:00

(Payton, Avery, Owen and Max...saying their final good bye to Great Grandma J who three days later, slipped away peacefully.)

My blog's been abandoned for three weeks. That's a new record. I'm finding myself spread thin, really, really thin. I had no idea, or maybe I forgot, or pretended not to remember....the toll a new baby can take. Even so, I adore and could devour, Mr. Max in ALL his cuteness. Serious lack of sleep aside, I am enjoying him, probably more than any other of my new babes. This, because I'm older, wiser, less anxious, and have learned to "let go" of a lot of things, like the laundry, nightly meals, and the cleanliness of my home!

Lately, it seems I'm shaking my thing all day long, only to get the daily things in tact. What's not happening is time for the "extras", like writing a post on the moments in the last few weeks that have moved me to tears, such as the passing of Great Grandma J, the kids and my visit with her and our final good-bye, Max's first snowfall and catching Payton dancing with him outside under the fresh, white flakes, Owen shedding tears each night, missing his buddy and roommate of two years, Avery, who now shares a room with Payton, Robert returning home from a week in Wisconsin, and me realizing, once again, how much I need that man, enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday with loved ones, sharing memories and listening to stories of my grandmother's childhood, even road tripping to Reno, and with our Bronco lovin' buddies, witnessing a gut-wrenching loss where a much deserving team's high hopes and dreams for a BIG game faded into the distance.

Christmas is a short, few weeks away. I haven't purchased but one thing so far, and the thought of all the shopping, decorating, baking, visiting, party attending, that comes with the season, quite frankly.....makes me restless. I decided this year our family needs to try harder not to bank on anything MAGNIFICENT in the monetary sense. Instead I am going to concentrate on building memories with the kids on a less grand scale. My goal is to enjoy the simple, magical things, make time for our family traditions, serve and give to those in need, focus on our Savior and the real reason we celebrate. By doing this I hope to spend less time running around, fussin' and frettin' over the trivial things that seem to negatively steal our time and energy away from this, "the most happiest time of the year."

The Christmas books are placed in a decorative box at the foot of the fireplace. We've already been enjoying hot cocoa, each in our best-loved mug, and reading our favorite holiday stories by the fire. With shrunken funds and when time is of the essence, I have to remind myself.....

"Things are just stuff. Christmas is about love, .....and we have quite enough."

(Night Before The Night Before Christmas, Natasha Wing.)

color me bad

2010-11-10T11:31:00.010-07:00

From hair

Mrs. Platinum Blonde decided it was time for a change. She asked for her "natural" color, whatever that was. So after the stylist matched her roots and underneath, unbleached locks, this is what transpired.

Miss Pay snapped a few shots to show the friends and fam. the new look. "Come on mom, swing your hair, have fun, be cool!"

Fo Real?

Totally, never been cool, me.....let inhibition out of her cage. You bet I gave it a whirl. I spun my mop so hard my head hurt. I placed my finger, ever so cool like, right up next to my lip, oh ya. I even threw myself romantically at Bob when he happened to walk by, interrupting this totally "bad", (the cool sense of the word) photo shoot.

Obviously, none of it was working. The pics.....totally ridiculous. Sorry, Pay. Too cool for school just isn't, and never has been, this girl's flavor.

Now, the pics. below, taken by Miss Avery herself, most definitely suit your MAMA....

much better.

Fo Sho!

From me n pay

When I walked in the door after getting my hair done, Avery took one look at me, threw herself on the floor, rolled around and cried. After calming her down I asked why the tantrum. Her tearful response, "Now I look like I'm adopted!" No worries, no worries, Miss Ave. This creature of habit can't promise, come summer time, I won't transform my hair back to lookin' like your mama.

bob's a geek

2010-11-08T21:40:00.007-07:00

From max

Geek. A rather strange sounding word. Green, not my favorite color, especially on Max.

"My dad's a geek," really, that's a bit immature and silly wouldn't you think? Would I go as far as to call it, "stupid?"

A sophisticated person might think so, but instead immature, ridiculous me gets a good chuckle every time I pull this onesie from the clean clothes pile....quickly putting it on the babe.

Admittedly so, the shirt makes me smile. Corny or not....

it's a personal fave.

the "m" word

2010-11-03T14:39:00.012-06:00

Yes, the video contains my baby boy blowing an unruly amount of mucus out his tiny nostrils and vomiting freely all over his adorable, baby-wearing, white onesie. I'm apologizing for that in advance, however, it ALSO contains a sound, a word, mock me if you will, that sounds an awful lot like, "mum."

Reason is flaunting a rather impressive campaign, one that's trying to convince me there's no way Max could possibly have said, "mum." He's declaring that it's a mere coincidence that the sound Max's small voice made, just at the exact time the camera was rolling, was indeed peculiarly similar to the name my children call me, but just not so.

However, my Heart tells me Max's sound was undoubtedly the term of endearment, "mum." A word so simple, yet monumentally hefty on the mama scale, because there's nothin', and I repeat, nothin' like hearing your babes say the "m" word!

(Please forgive my absolute ridiculous voice in this video, but I'm convinced there's something about talking to babies that brings out the inner cheese ball in all of us!)

c.h.a.n.g.e.s

2010-10-27T11:05:00.013-06:00

Since September, six year old Avery has experienced a lot of changes. Exciting changes for her, like attending school ALL day, losing her two front teeth (yup, the other is missing now too), playing soccer, and wearing her anxiously awaited but truthfully needed, stylish, pink spectacles. These changes for me, are becoming quite apparent each, passing day. Changes that seem to creep up behind me and whisper ever so softly in my open ear,

"Your baby girl is growing up. "

With another child or two of mine I would worry about these changes making them feel insecure or them twisting their small fingers together and holding them tightly in a way that might superstitiously wish them each away. With Avery I don't need to fret. She never mentions caring what others will think. As she dresses for school, combs her hair, puts on her coat, and walks out the door, I know the choices she makes are her own. She beats to her individual drum, and to me her music is inspiring. With her, what you see is what you get, and although it isn't always as reverent or appropriate as her mother would wish, and I might find my fuse running mostly short when dealing with her somewhat outlandish behavior, I too realize that her differences are a gift. She is Miss Avery, with a mind and body of her own in which she embraces with happiness in her little oblivious groove, because she knows no other way.

Quite frankly, I am truly, most graciously relieved, because as her mother I grew up fearing my own music and spending more time than I wished, beating to the drum of my less brave self. I look back now and wish I had been wiser. I wish I had known that doing the things I wanted might not have been easy, but I would have been true to myself, ultimately, feeling more at ease in my individual shoes and unversed, fragile skin.

I carried on my shoulders a heavy sack of insecurities, probably no different or vigorous than anyone else's. Insecurities, none the less, that won battles that I wish I had fought harder for, like in high school when I chose not to play soccer, my favorite sport, my sophomore year because it wasn't "cool" back then, or backing down when wanting to run for junior class president because losing was a much larger risk than my feeble self wanted to take. And those are just a few minute examples of a large pile of regrets that lost the battle to a less heroic self who sometimes just wasn't adventurous enough to pave her individual path.

Avery, I hope you will always know how valuable you are. I hope you will thrive just being YOU. Believe in yourself, because you, my girl, know yourself best. If there is something you like that makes you happy and proud, then go for it. Don't shy away from it because it might not be everyone else's first choice. Know that your losses and failures won't define you unless you let them.

This advice comes from me now, after I've been there and done that. And peacefully, in my late 30's, my sack of insecurities is much smaller. Yes, it's still there, but it seems this wiser self knows better how to tame it. I understand my purpose and embrace my roles enthusiastically. Life is good and the older I get it seems to just get better. I have learned to love big and have chosen happiness. I forgive myself daily, which I know is a must because unfortunately, I'm still making mistakes. I don't strive for perfection but laugh at my inabilities. This once unversed, fragile skin is weathering slowly, and as it does, I find myself accepting the things I cannot change and wanting more to enhance the things I can. Oh boy is it nice to let go and stop stewing over the things I might want for, wish I had or were. Instead I am thankful for the person I am, because each of us are God's gift and when I think of my self as that, simply that and nothing less, I like what I see more and more........

magical. get. away

2010-10-19T09:50:00.011-06:00

From Roaring Springs

I miss summer because I always had Roaring Springs. It was like this magical little get away. A place where I could escape the grind, go and relax, and enjoy the sunshine with my water loving' kids.

In the months between June and Sept., when days felt heavy, I would load up the fam., throw in the towels, sunscreen, shades, stroller, pack a giant lunch, and off we went. See ya later responsibility. Adios messy house, loads of laundry, phone calls, and dinner to be made. Yup, leaving you alone, all you "things to do" on a giant list that sometimes felt like a long chain, pulling me down slowly. I'd avoid it ALL and spend the entire day at the water park, me and the kids, each of us, loving every care free moment for our very own reasons.

Today, I am grumpy. I am feeling sad. I am completely overwhelmed. Bottom line.....I am TIRED. This too shall pass, I know, I know, but it sure makes me long for the summer months and Roaring Springs...my magical, little, get a way. Cuz if I could turn back the clock and it was a warm summer day, you can bet that's exactly where we'd be.

Lil' Rebel

2010-10-14T09:08:00.009-06:00

Hmm, so much for that long awaited Bieber Do.

You know, in his "skins", sporting his new Mohawk, with a birthday party tattoo on his right forearm, wearing a trampoline burn on his cheekbone...

My shy, sweet, most kind boy, who has my heart and melts it daily...

almost looks.......

like a lil' REBEL.

Game. Day. Baby.

2010-10-09T14:36:00.009-06:00

Boy do we look forward to game day.

For us it means...

decking out in Orange and Blue, making our favorite foods, hanging with family and friends, cheering really, really loud for the Broncos, and having A LOT of FUN.

In a nutshell.......

WE LOVE BOISE STATE FOOTBALL!

GO BRONCOS!

Heather. Jeff. Baby to be

2010-10-05T15:22:00.006-06:00

From Heather

I had six best friends in high school. We were a group of very different girls who somehow meshed together forming an amazing friendship and having just about as much fun together as humanly possible. We were tight. We got along. There was never a dull or lonely moment in high school, because of them, and I realize now, just how rare that was. People often tell me that they are surprised I am still so close to my high school friends. If you knew these girls, you'd know why. They are some of the very best, smartest, most beautiful, talented, good, caring people I have ever known. I'll hold tight to them forever.

Miss Heather, one of the six, had a dream wedding in NC in July. She married, Jeff, an incredible man who couldn't be more perfect for her. Although, I was supposed to stand by her side as a bride's maid and Bob and I had purchased our tickets a year in advance and had a dream vacation planned with just the two of us and our brand new baby.......everything went awry. I remember the day I called Heather to tell her we just couldn't make it. She wasn't surprised. She knew our situation and told me it was so much more important to stay home and take care of my baby, but I broke down. Missing her wedding was another reminder of my uncertain world and just how much things were out of my control. I wanted so much to be there. She understood and said in no way did she expect me to come, but I was sad...really, really sad.

Trish and Megan called me the morning of the wedding. They filled me in with every beautiful detail making me feel as if I were there. They smothered me with kind words and told me how much they missed me and wished I was there. The phone call meant the world to me.

I missed Heather's big day in July, but her papa Hoge threw her a reception in Pocatello a few weekends ago, and we weren't going to miss it for the world. It was almost surreal finally seeing Heather, hugging and congratulating her on one of the biggest decisions of her life, and then it was really surreal when she and Jeff announced that they were expecting a baby! I nearly fell out of my chair.

I have always been so proud of Heather. She is one of the most successful business women I know. I marvel at her lavish life style and jet setting the country on business, but whenever I would want to talk about her life, she was more interested in mine. She was envious of the chaos children brought, and wanted more than anything to start a family. Her dream is coming true, and I am so excited for she and Jeff to embark on the adventure of parenthood because I know how truly great they are going to be and how fortunate that child is to have them as parents.

I enjoyed the night, seeing and spending time with dear friends. It went too fast, as it always does. As the evening was ending and we were getting close to saying our good bye's, Heather brought me a beautiful white bag full of fun surprises. I loved every thoughtful gift, but my favorite by far was a video she put together. It was titled, Best Friends Forever. I watched it late one night after we had arrived home. I was sitting in the middle of my messy office, thoughts on my mind of all the things I needed to get done. I popped in the video, and as it played I laughed and laughed, cried and cried, enjoying so much the music from the 90's and the pics. of all my dear friends and the crazy good times we had in high school, on spring breaks, in college, and even afterwards. That stroll down memory lane was exactly what I needed.

Heather, Trish, Megan, Brittney, Molly, and Les....

I hope you know that so much of who I am today is because of your friendship. I have learned many great life lessons from each of you. Thanks for being a big part of my past, for making it great, for giving me so many incredible memories, for supporting and loving me in spite of my many flaws, and for continuing to care about me today.

You will ALL forever be.....my dear friends.

I love you.

E.S.C.A.P.E

2010-09-30T07:51:00.007-06:00

LEAVING for St. George today.....

Hoping I don't MISS my babies too much.....

Wishing BOB much luck as he holds down the fort.....

Going to cheer good friends to the finish of a BIG RACE.....

Excited to ESCAPE from the grind and enjoy the SUNSHINE.....

Thanks for the fun SONG, Angie B. How is it you know me so well?

Oh, boy did I need a CATCHY tune to blast,

while this mama BUSTS a busy, busy move to......

get on out of here.

Miss Pay

2010-09-27T21:45:00.014-06:00

From Payton

Miss Pay continues to tell me I need to update my blog, you know, a new title and last year's photo removed. I have lots of pics. and fun times awaiting a post, but I'm so far behind, I don't know where to start. And really, for me, the lack of upkeep is just another reminder of how much my life has changed since little Max was born. Ultimately, I find myself wishing for more hours in the day, but they're not hours to fix my somewhat abandoned blog (although, I DO enjoy the blogging!) they're hours to sit and hold my baby longer, wrestle with and throw the football to Owen, color and read with Avery, sit and listen to you, Pay, tell me about the boys in your class, and teach ya a "move" in soccer.

Our lives have changed since Max was born. Our once simple world isn't so simple anymore. But, for some strange reason, the thought of it getting back on track, frightens me, because this chaos the encompasses our lives right now, is strangely enough, bringing me more joy than when things were "easy." You see when things are smooth sailing, we become complacent in our lives, we simply take the important things for granted.

I'm not asking for more storms, I'm just grateful for the lessons learned after the weathering. They're helping us enjoy more fully when things are good, making us better people (boy do we need improving!), allowing us to recognize the joy good friends bring, ushering our family (near and far) closer, aiding us in seeing a little more clearly, the "big picture"... and last, but not least, appreciating how really blessed we are.

Favorites

2010-09-15T09:57:00.009-06:00

From Boys

My favorite days are the days we can stay home all morning and just be.

My favorite days are the days I have TIME to pick up the house, make beds, throw in laundry, and plan the evening's meal.

My favorite days are the days I get to stay in my pajamas till' noon, wrestle Owen on the couch or the trampoline outside, and sit, rock, feed, and smooch all over Max's baby soft skin.

My favorite days are the days Owen, Max and I sit on the porch and wait for the girls to ride their bikes home from school. I always get a good laugh watching Avery come around the corner in her over sized helmet peddling like a maniac trying to stay up with her long legged sister.

My favorite days are the days Robert comes home from work and sits on the back porch swing with the kids, enjoying the sunshine while opening the mail.

My favorite nights are the nights we sit around the table together sharing a meal, not having to rush out the door to make it to a practice.

My favorite nights are the nights Bob says he's going to mow the lawn but gets side tracked playing soccer and tag with the kids and does this until it's time to come in for bed.

My favorite nights are the nights we get to lay and listen to the kids read aloud before they go off to dreamland.

Let's BE REAL. Life is crazy busy, and with soccer, piano, homework and everything else life throws at us, a day like this RARELY happens around here. But, this is how it went down yesterday, and boy was it nice.

Happy Day

2010-09-14T09:29:00.004-06:00

I know you said said your birthday was, "Just another day."

But, WE sure had fun celebrating YOU.

Thanks for being our world and making our lives good.

We LOVE you!

MAX.

2010-09-04T08:41:00.001-06:00

From Max

Max + Happy = ADORABLE.

When It Rains

2010-09-02T19:14:00.005-06:00

( This pic. of our once squeaky clean, super happenin'g pool......a pretty good indicator of our lives right now!)

It pours....
...and we're getting flooded.

I remember the first week of June, the last week of school, as if it were yesterday. The week was alive with festivities; Avery graduated from Kindergarten, Payton sang "Soul Sister" in the school's talent show, the girls ran their hearts out at the jog a thon, showed off for their grand parents at field day, and said good-bye to teachers and friends at the last day school parties. I remember it so well......because I MISSED all of it. I was laid up in bed, worrying about my new, tiny baby boy in the NICU, while the simple, happy, ordinary events of life went on without me. It sounds silly, but tougher than the pain from surgery, for this mama, was not being there with my girls and missing ALL their events.

School started back last week. It seemed eerily too soon to be resuming. As I walked the girls into the building, 10 minutes late, with Owen, who had fallen and scraped his knees in the parking lot, crying in my arms, I felt overwhelmed. The same strange feelings that crept inside the last week of school, were lurking, and our world was once again, turned upside down. This time, instead of me being laid up in bed worrying about Max, it was Bob, laid up in the hospital who had me worried.

You see, Bob had been really sick and in a lot of pain for weeks. After a series of misdiagnosis' from doctors, we finally went to the ER where they admitted him. They found a muscle tear behind his knee, which bled and created a cavity the size of an orange, which became extremely infected. After an entire week in the hospital and three surgeries later, he is finally home. Although he must travel the rough road to recovery, compared to the terrible weeks that led up to the hospital, we're thinking it should be downhill from here.

So, my original plan was to describe the mess our lives have become because of all of this. I was going to vent about how exhausted I was staying up all night with Max and then trying to hold down the fort by myself.....kids to school, soccer, swimming, etc. making meals, cleaning, and doing laundry. Then when the kids finally hit their pillows at night I was staying up super late working, staring at that computer until my eyelids became so heavy even toothpicks couldn't hold em' up. All this, only to to start the next day and do it ALL over again. Yup, I was grasping desperately, holding on tight, trying to keep my head above WATER. And although at times I felt tough, most of those times, I felt....... I was failing miserably.

Then I decided, "This post isn't going to be an invitation to my pity party."

You see, I was recently told by someone wise to find thanks in all things. I discovered that even in our trials, if we shine the flashlight of our attention on what's good instead of what's not, there are wonderful things to be found.

I found that I have amazing friends and family who love us enough to sacrifice their own lives and time to HELP US. Their love and generosity during this tough time for me, has buoyed me up, kept me sane, and taught me incredible lessons of compassion. I have been amazed at all the service that has been rendered to our family, through this trial and also with Max's birth. My eyes are swimming as I type, I feel an overwhelming amount of love for the people in our lives, and am truly, so appreciate of them.

I also found that I have a lot to learn about serving. I've learned that when someone is in need, not to ask anymore what I can do to help, but find out what they need.....and like the old Nike slogan, "JUST DO IT!" I'm also going to hold tight to all those people who bring joy to my life, because of them, we're making it!

And so I'm going to let the memories of the last few months fade like my kid's summer tans. I'll continue to find happiness in the simple things, like an afternoon soda from Sonic, blasting my favorite songs on the radio, and a phone conversation with a good friend. And most of all, I'm going to look forward to good times ahead, like fall, my favorite season, and all the exciting things it brings.

And I most certainly can't think of fall without getting anxious for college football, and that reminds me of something I heard a coach on ESPN say the other night. He remarked, "Life, like football, is a TEAM sport." I thought about that a lot. I think he's right. We're all players in this game, and it isn't what we have that matters, but WHO we have. If we would stop wasting our time and energy on the trivial things and focus mostly on building the relationships with all the WHO'S in our lives by helping, serving, and loving them......

WE WOULD ALL BE VICTORIOUS!

When the COUSINS came to stay

2010-08-21T09:08:00.005-06:00

From cousins

Smores for breakfast gave us the energy to dance the morning away.

Which were just a few of the fun things we did

when the cousins came to stay!

I Have Dreams

2010-08-17T23:02:00.004-06:00

lots and lots of em'. and ever since I was little, owning a candy store has been one of em'.
Let's face it, I'm addicted to the sugary stuff. Yup, sucking on a soft peppermint puff as I type.

Back to that dream.....
If I had designed it myself, my candy store wouldn't look a thing different than Powell's in Boise.
It's filled with every delicious thing you can imagine, really.
From it's sparkling ceiling to its shiny floor, this bright, colorful sweet tooth lovin' store

....is MAGICAL!
I wish my pics. did it justice.
Which brings me to my next dream....
to someday learn how to take a decent photo!

Her current fave

2010-08-11T10:28:00.007-06:00

Here's your current fave, sis. I thought I'd paste it here so you can log on quickly, listen, and enjoy it,

any old time you want.

Now just do me a big favor, my little lady, and promise me one thing,

you'll always remember......

This mama thinks you're amazing, just the way you are!

On The Charts

2010-08-08T22:14:00.010-06:00

At two and a half months, Mr. Max is ON THE CHARTS! His beefy 9 lbs. put him in the 5th percentile. When we're out and about, people still comment on the "brand new baby." Yup, he's still new, just not as new as THEY think. He's a fussy little man and always wants to be held, good thing we have lots of arms that want to hold him. He has oodles of red hair covering the top of his sweet head, which we love to smooch, along with his chubba, chubba cheeks and teeny, tiny, toes.

Oh, Mr. Max, you sure have turned our easy, breezy world upside down and ALL the way around, but really.......

we wouldn't have it any other way.

From Max

Beiber Fever

2010-08-05T08:17:00.005-06:00

From Owen in boots

Earlier this summer, Beiber performed on the Today show. Owen happened to be watching. He was completely enamored with Beiber's performance. Wide eyed, swaying to the music, he looked my way and asked, "Mom can I grow my hair long, long like Justin Beibers? I want it so long that I can shake it", he says while tossing his head to the side in a super cool manner, just like Beiber. Since that morning, Owen's snowy strands have been a growing. His unusually large head is a helmet of unruly, thick, blonde locks. I am afraid it doesn't look great, but who am I to crush a dream like that?

P.S. Grandpa and Grandma came to visit. Owen followed Grandpa around all day, becoming his new shadow. He sure enjoyed trying on, wearing, and walking around in Grandpa's clunky boots.

Those are some rather large boots to fill, Mr. Owen. Your grandpa is a special guy, one of a kind in my book.

But if ANYONE can fill his shoes, I think YOU CAN!

Pretty Cool

2010-08-03T10:28:00.007-06:00

"Would you like a snow cone? I can MAKE you one!"

Miss Avery was given a snow cone machine for her birthday. If ya come visit, you'll be hard pressed to avoid the above question. Instead of setting up her usual lemonade stand this summer, Avery's sitting on top of the world making and selling her snow cones.

Because in the world of our "sweet and spicy" six year old,

snow cones are pretty cool!

Boastin'

2010-07-30T08:02:00.005-06:00

From Payton Main St. Mile

I would NEVER brag about Payton entering downtown Boise's Main St. Mile race in the 5th and 6th grade girl's division and as a fourth grader taking...

1st place!

Nope, I would never brag that she won several fun prizes including a $100 gift certificate to Bandannas running store where we'll go get her some smokin' hot new running shoes and her first real, "running attire."

This super proud mama would never brag...

Boast' juuuuuust a little...

but never brag....wink, wink!

Swim Team

2010-07-28T10:58:00.003-06:00

From Payton swim team

Another exciting Summer Season of swim team came to a close.

From Avery swim team

The girls had a lot of fun meeting new friends, learning new strokes, and earning a plethora of colorful ribbons.

From Robert swim team

Even the dads were able to participate. At one of the meets they had a parent relay. After seeing Bob jump in the pool like a freak and Brent enter with a back flip, I didn't think their team had a chance. With the aid of their kid's mad cheering squad.....they were led to VICTORY and pulled off a WIN!

We're already looking forward to next summer and Mr. Owen finally being old enough to join the team!

How Do I Love Thee?

2010-07-16T07:47:00.009-06:00

From Anniversary

Let me count the ways...

You know what they say the difference is between a couple who doesn't stay together and one that does? The couple who stayed together........

JUST KEPT TRYING.

Although there's a million and one reasons why I love Bob, here's a list of 14 in celebration of 14 years of TRYING!

1. He likes to be needed, and boy does this girl need him.

2. His family is his priority, and we know this.

3. He's smart but would never be condescending or make anyone feel "dumb."

4. He calls me several times a day. His upbeat, chipper voice is a bright spot in my day.

5. He perceives us as a team and takes part and helps me with EVERYTHING.

6. He hides sweet notes for me to find every time he goes out of town.

7. He is a much better cook than myself and makes dinner often.

8. He enjoys life and works hard to make ours FUN.

9. He is a good friend and would do anything for others.

10. He's hot......just sayin'.

11. He is witty and funny and makes me laugh daily.

12. He loves my family and never judges us in spite of our many inadequacies.

13. He sets lofty goals, and I enjoy watching him achieve them.

14. He goes the extra mile on my birthday and holidays to make me feel special, and most importantly.......loves my ridiculous, dramatic, nerdy self!

Bob and I celebrated 14 years of BIG LOVE last week. These pics. were taken in easier times when we celebrated an anniversary by aimlessly roaming the streets of downtown Boise. After dining at our favorite restaurant and purchasing a few things at our favorite downtown shop, we retired to a little bench outside a local bar and listened for free, to the live music blaring from it's doors. We did our fare share of people watching before Mr. "no display of public affection" let me make out with him on that bench, a couple of long kisses without a word of complaint. It doesn't take much to please this girl, and that night on the bench without a care in the world, laughing and smooching Bob, is one I love to remember.

We're currently living in a tunnel, at least that's how it feels when you're up most of the night with a newborn. You know long, dark nights and tiresome days while the rest of the world goes on around you. Because of this neither Bob nor I had mentioned a thing about our anniversary, and seriously, I was hoping, crossing my fingers tightly, that somehow overly tired Bob would forget. I wanted him to be completely surprised when he came home to a romantic dinner, a house without kids, and a night to ourselves. I wanted to give him a gift he had been without for weeks, needed desperately, and would have paid top dollar for.........SLEEP!

With the help of amazing, selfless friends, I pulled it off. One took the older kids all night, and the other took Max. Although we ended up missing the kids and wondered really if we could leave Max till' the next morning, at 10 p.m. we forgoed driving to get him and relished in a night of uninterrupted sleep.

14 years later, I love Bob more today than ever. I know how ridiculously cliche that last sentence sounds. But, there's truth in that old cliche. As we grow older and wiser we realize love is so much more than physical attraction or simple, good times in a relationship. Love is what lasts. Love is what is left after all the ups and downs, trials, and rough times. Love is why and how we stay together, it is what sustains us. At least it is for me, because believe me I've had my moments of extreme frustration when I've felt like throwing in the towel. There's been times when Bob and my differences seem overwhelming and because of them I've selfishly thought we just couldn't make it. But I never quit, because I LOVE him. The good times most certainly outweigh the bad and even though in no way, shape, or form is our marriage perfect, I believe LOVE is. It's an action, and it isn't always easy, but continuing to TRY makes it worth it in so many ways. And I've grown to realize over the last 14 years, LOVING Bob has made me a much better person.

So, next year we'll celebrate our big 15th. It will be interesting to see where life takes us, and how this next year will unfold. Until then, I vow to do two things, LOVE him.....

and JUST KEEP TRYING!

AHHHHH...

2010-07-13T21:28:00.002-06:00

From The Lake

The Lake!!!!!

Someday....

2010-07-10T15:11:00.012-06:00

View all

Get your own

....he'll wish upon a star.

EXHAUSTED

2010-07-06T10:43:00.003-06:00

We are elated that our baby boy, Max is home!

But, these old saps

are completely, utterly, and most certainly....

EXHAUSTED!

P.S. As of Wed. of last week, Max was weighing a ginormous.......6 lbs.!

2010-06-18T12:23:00.010-06:00

Dear Max,

You are three weeks old today. It is hard to believe you've spent your first 21 days of life in the hospital. Being home without you, seems strange. I wake every morning and see your empty bassinet at the foot of my bed, waiting for you. I try to be strong and not let your brother and sisters know how sad I am and how much I miss you, but it's getting harder every day.

I spend my days at the hospital feeding, changing, and snuggling you. Dad stops in during the day too and then visits you again each night. We try hard to spend as much time with you as we can, but it never feels like enough. The hardest part is saying "good-bye" and leaving you there lying in your little crib without us.

Your brother and sisters like to come visit too. Payton has been coming with me every day. She loves to hold and love on you. She is a special girl and will be such a great big sister to you. She and Avery have been playing "NICU" recently and have organized their bedrooms just like your little space at the hospital. They are excited for you to come home so they can have a "real' baby to authenticate their make-believe play.

Your dad and I are so anxious to have you home, Max. We joke about "stealing" you from the NICU, or as your parents, telling them it's our right to bring you home... NOW! We know that wouldn't be wise, but we're just getting impatient and really want you home where we can care for you ourselves.

I am so sorry for all you have endured, Max. It truly breaks my heart. Watching from the side-lines, I don't know how you do it, because it's been A LOT. Thank you for being strong, my tiny boy, and fighting hard to be here and continuing to do so. The Dr.s still remind us how lucky we are to have you. Although they say we almost lost you, I always knew you'd make it, Max. I knew you were meant to be a part of this family. So, I will continue to pray for you, hope for you, and always love and care about you.

Your dad calls me an idealist. He often tells me I need to be a realist.

It's just not my style.

You'll be home soon, Max. I just know it. And everything WILL be O.K.

When that day finally arrives, we'll all celebrate BIG...

for you, ...our tiny miracle.

Sweet dreams,

Mama

AvErY J iS sIX!

2010-06-15T19:30:00.010-06:00

From Avery Tavasi

(Miss Ave's Tavasi spring performance)

Let's face it, nothing is really "normal" around here right now. We're all starting to feel it, maybe even crackin' just a little, hopefully I'm just speakin' for myself. I don't even have a pic. to post of Miss Aves on her big day; the day she's been talking about and looking forward to for months. Thank goodness for grandma McBride and Payton who shopped for her presents, and Bob, who wrapped them and set them out nicely so she had them first thing in the morning, and Aunt Amy who made her an adorable cake, which we were all excited about since Aunt Amy makes the most delicious baked goods.

Although I knew it wouldn't be perfect, my goal for Avery's big day was to make her feel special. I wanted her to forget about the chaos around her and enjoy one day that was all about HER. So we sang, danced and shouted about it being HER birthday. We smothered her with hugs and kisses. I told her the story of the day she was born, funny things about her over her sweet six years of life, let her choose what we were eating, doing, listening to on the radio, and even excused her from chores. She wanted more than anything to go to Roaring Springs, and even though getting in a swim suit was the last thing this mama wanted to do, we braved the water park. Avery is a fish in water, and the highlight of her day was finally being tall enough to ride every single slide in the park.

Miss Ave's you are quite the character. Even though your craziness has brought more dramatic entertainment to our lives than we know what to do with sometimes...

We love you something FIERCE!

Happy, Happy 6th, my BABY GIRL!

GO BOB GO

2010-06-12T07:48:00.005-06:00

From Bob

We met Bob downtown for lunch yesterday. The place was happening: live music, fountains spraying, people everywhere. The IRONMAN is here! We waited as Bob stood in an enormous line to pick up his swag bag. I know he's nervous and excited, and we're feeling it too!

Today's the big day. Six months of hard work, dedication, and sacrifice....all comes down to this. The weather is looking promising, maybe a little on the warmer side than we expected, but no rain! Family is coming to cheer him to the finish, we have our "GO BOB GOB" t-shirts ready, and our cow bells and horns are anxious to rip and roar.

I told Bob to get to bed early last night, but when we were all hitting the hay, he went to the hospital to hold Max. I'm thinking he needed his tiny man to give him last minute inspiration!

We love you, Bob and are so proud of you whatever race day brings.

With that, there's just one thing left to say...

GO BOB GO!

Thank You

2010-06-10T08:48:00.007-06:00

From parents

I always enjoy my dear friend Molly's Thankful Thursday posts.

Today I am thankful for MANY things, including Max, modern medicine, all our amazing friends and support system, and especially, OUR PARENTS.

I've been in a serious fight with this C-section. I'm afraid it's still kicking my trash!

I've done nothing but rest, and spend my days at the hospital with Max.

This would not have been possible if it wasn't for THEM.

My parents came the first week and Bob's mom the second.

They have been AMAZING!

They take the kids all over, cook, clean, do laundry, plant flowers, make home-made treats...

the list goes on.

My kids will never want me back full-time, and quite frankly...I don't blame em'!

In all seriousness, we would not have made it without them.

.....with a heavy heart I can't express enough how much I love them.

Thank you

Aunt Mikkel is on her way to help for the weekend. When I told her how incredible her mom had been this was her response...

"I feel so bad because I am going to do such a better job than her. I am going to de-throne her from "Master Mom." Just wait, I will razzle, dazzle your socks off and put my MAMA to shame!"

This gave me a good laugh, and although they say laughter is the best medicine...

after the C-section....I'm feelin' it's more like a small twist of torture!

MIRACLE MAX

2010-06-07T17:21:00.003-06:00

From Collages

Max Hales McBride

entered this big, new world on....May 28, 2010 at 1:14 p.m.

weighing a whooping 3 lbs. 3.5 ounces and was 16 1/2 inches long.

The NICU staff calls him "Mad Max" or "Mighty Max"....

to us....

He's our MIRACLE!

Perspective

2010-05-26T22:56:00.024-06:00

I was pretty bummed Friday afternoon when I came home to find my blue, painted kitchen NOT the way I envisioned it. In the sunlight it is a bright, robin-egg blue, and looks nothing like the Wedgewood gray color I found in Pottery Barn. With my dark green shutters and light kitchen cabinets, it looks awful.

I sulked most of the evening until about 10 p.m. when Bob found a drip in the ceiling in the office, which led to a downpour of water, a cut open ceiling, and a completely torn apart upstairs bathroom. Apparently a pipe to the tub faucet had been leaking for months, causing major water damage.

Just like that, the terrible, blue colored, kitchen walls.....didn't matter anymore.

We spent an evening visiting Emily who found out only weeks ago she has cancer. At just 27 years of age, she has the fight of her life ahead of her. In true character, she was positive and upbeat. As she spoke of her chemo and radiation plans, surgeries, and all that was in store for her in the upcoming months, my heart ached.

Just like that, our disaster zone, water damaged house...didn't matter anymore.

(A gift given to "Baby boy." Thank you, Maren.)

I woke up Tuesday morning ready for my second to last Dr. appt. I was feeling brave, all pumped up, ready to beg my Dr. to take the baby a few days early so I could be out of the hospital in time to make it to Bob's big race and cheer my man to the finish.

My Dr. took one look at me and said I looked too small to be delivering in a few weeks. Not me, per say, but my baby belly. He did an ultra sound. There was panic in his voice. Questions were flying. He was uncharacteristically flustered as he thumbed through my chart.

Something was wrong.

At 37 weeks, "Baby boy" is weighing just 3 lbs. and judging by the fluid level, he is ready to come.

I spent the day in fear, crying, talking on the phone to loved ones, and feeling sadness beyond explanation for "Baby boy."

It could be a number of "not good" things, or maybe, just maybe he'll be o.k. Today, I am feeling very optimistic, and until I see the specialist Friday morning and hear otherwise, that's how I'll remain.

Just like that, the early delivery date, Bob's big race, the giant "before baby comes" list, the wrong blue colored walls, our water damaged home....

None of it matters anymore.

Then I think of Emily, "Baby boy", and everyone else who is struggling with a trial right now, and after lots of thinking and moments on my knees in prayer, really, I am feeling a bit embarassed and ashamed that it ever did.

Good-bye yellow walls!

2010-05-20T21:26:00.004-06:00

From Projects

Good-bye yellow walls.

Tomorrow, you'll be blue.

I'm crossing my fingers ever so tightly that you'll turn out O.K.

Then I'll mark another item off of my GIANT, before baby arrives, TO DO list.

Truthfully, the list is getting a little ridiculous.

It might be consuming me...yes, just a little.

I have less than three weeks.

The things to do, to fix, to buy, to clean, to organize, etc.....

CRAZY!

However, I'm giving it A SHOT because when Max or Drew (short list names) arrives...

My best guess is...

Aint' nothin' getting done round here!

See YOU soon...

2010-05-16T07:58:00.019-06:00

I feel like our days are a busy whirlwind. To the zoo for a field trip, to a classroom for a party, to soccer, piano, swimming, Tavasi, you name it. It's May and everything from school to sports and other extra curricular activities are at their height, exploding with parties, performances, the whole nine yards, before they slowly spiral downward, come to a close, and take a REST for the summer.

Oh, summer hiatus, I long for you. I really do. You are so close I can taste ya!

As I drove Avery to Kindergarten the other day she asked, "Mom, do you know why I am so excited for summer?"

"Yes, I think I do." I replied.

"Why?"

"Because we'll celebrate your birthday!"

"Yes, and why else?" she asks.

"Because "baby boy" is coming." I assume.

"Yes, and why else?"

"Because we'll spend our days at Roaring Springs." I think.

Oh, boy is she getting more excited with every answer, and I am finding myself getting quite anxious too!

"Yes, and why else?"

Sheesh....I'm trying to think of another before she interjects....

"Oh, mom, the LAKE!" she squeels.

"Holy cow, how could I have forgotten?"

Then a flood of memory snapshots run through my head, lemonade stands, bike rides on the green belt, picnics, visits with family and friends, Bob's big race, camping, lazy days, no where to be, no work, sitting on the porch swing watching the kids play in the back yard, cruising the lake on the boat, chasing the ice- cream man, eating fresh fruit and barbecuing up a storm. Late night walks, Baumgartners, the smell of freshly cut grass, chlorine and sunscreen.

.......My goodness,the list goes on and on and on.

Oh, summer, we're craving you like Big Mama's craving chocolate at midnight.

We simply can't wait.....to see you soon!

Happy day, Mother's Day!

2010-05-10T22:06:00.014-06:00

....and that's what Mr. Owen kept telling me.

I don't know who was more excited about Mother's Day this year, me or my kids.

Bob went the extra mile and included the kids in the entire process.

They left me home alone Friday night and started prepping for Sunday. They shopped for presents, made cards, painted pics. , bought food for the meals, and planned all our day's activities.

I woke up Sunday morning just after 7 to find my bedroom door closed and this sign hanging from it.

Breakfast in bed was fun. The fruit parfait with the enormous boysenberries....delicious. My GIANT, cards, paintings, and hand-made gifts.......the best!

Next, it was church, where all three kids stood on the stand with the primary and sang a few of my very favorite songs. I sat in the congregation and had a "moment." It seems like yesterday that I stood on the stand and sang for my mom. It amazes me how quickly life goes, and sometimes I have to stop and take it in. I am these kid's mother. Most of the time it seems absolutely surreal. I am in love with them.

We came home from church and not only was the sun shining, but it was WARM. It has been so rainy, overcast and cool here that the sun's heat felt amazing. We played in the backyard the rest of the day. No kidding, we stayed outside until 8 p.m.

Bob took care of every meal and cleaned up afterwards too. I tried to sweep the floor and throw in a load of laundry, but he wouldn't have it. "You are not allowed to lift a finger unless it is to put something in your mouth!" he ordered. I thought that was pretty funny, until I realized that was exactly what I did all day...EAT!

I think the day was just right because we did "nothing." We had no where to be. We were just home, enjoying the weather and each other. We jumped on the tramp, played freeze-tag, baseball, and of course, the girls played "house." Life's crazy busy, and we don't get to just "play"nearly as much as we should.

From family fun

It was time for bed. We put the kids in the tub and walked around the bedrooms upstairs opening windows and turning on ceiling fans. We were in Payton's room and I plopped down on her bed. Bob snuggled up beside me. Pay's bed is our old bed. The very first bed we had together. I don't know why, but we think it's the most comfortable bed in the world. We laid there chatting about life, how much ours has changed, our fears and concerns about the changes a new baby brings, how much we love these kids, and how important our roles are as their parents.

Life isn't always blissful and most days aren't this easy. Let's face it, there's even been a Mother's Day or two I would just assume forget. Believe me, we've had our "times." We still do. We're no strangers to weathering storms, but I am glad we continue to TRY, strive each day to be better, forgive, love, and serve one another. It is amazing how much stronger, and definitely more appreciative we become of each other when we do this.

Because really, I never could have imagined Bob and these kids would bring me this much happiness. I love the four of them more than I could even try to express, and this Mother's Day is one I want to remember. It was all the simple, sweet, thoughtful things they did that made me feel like the luckiest gal alive.

"Happy day, Mother's Day!," Owen continued to shout, and we would all look at each other, smile and laugh.

Because of Bob and the kids....

Indeed it was.

From Mother's Day

Oh, the Irony!

2010-05-07T08:59:00.014-06:00

Last year, I made this post.
I would have begged, stolen and borrowed to have been selected to run the...

St. George Marathon.

It didn't happen, and I was sorely disappointed.

From Marathon

But, I ran Top of Utah anyway, and the training and race experience are some of my most favorite memories.

Call me ridiculous, but I sure loved that new, shiny, FAT medal!

This year, I again signed up for St. George. It was like I just had to have another shot to get in. I wasn't thinking that there was no way in hell I could run a marathon just a few, short months after having "baby boy."

So, what happens.......

You guessed it.

Miss Mal, called me bright and early this morning to share the good news.......

Congratulations to ME! I made the LOTTERY! I am IN like FLYNN!

(Can you just hear the sarcasm in my typing voice?)

Right now, I have about as much desire to run that race as I do to clean dirty toilets.

OH, THE IRONY!

Over Eatin'

2010-05-02T15:31:00.012-06:00

From Sheep Shed

From Avery on the farm

From Owen on the farm

From Sheep Shed 2

Who had a great time at the Sheep Shed?

My animal lovin' kids!

The very first Kindergarten field trip of the year, Owen and I discovered Avery's first crush.

This time, we weren't surprised that it was her friend, Brady L she wanted to follow around the farm. At 5 years of age, Miss Avery's already boy crazy. I can't imagine where she gets that? Wink, wink.

Brady L, who lives in our neighborhood, was over playing the other day. He and Avery were sitting at the kitchen counter waiting patiently as I sliced some apples for a snack.

"I am going to eat 1,000 apple slices," Brady declared.

"If you eat 1,000 apple slices, you'll be sick," Miss Avery assures.

"Are you Mormon?" Brady blurts.

"Ya," Avery replies.

"You believe differently than I do." Brady remarks.

I can't help but to smile.

"Mom?" Avery questions.

"If you eat 1,000 apple slices, will you get sick?"

"Ya," I start to explain when I am interrupted mid word.

"Are you Mormon?" Brady questions with a look of all serious concern across his sweet, 5 year old face.

"Yes." "Guilty." I reply.

Shaking his head he says, "You believe differently than I do."

"That might be true," I tell him. "But I am pretty sure, if you eat 1,000 of anything, whether it be something healthy like an apple slice or not, you'll probably feel sick."

Oh, Brady L, you gave me a good laugh! Believe me, Mormon or not, this Big Mama knows a thing or two about feelin' sick from Over Eatin'.

Unflatteringly Swollen

2010-04-29T14:02:00.004-06:00

From 33 Weeks

Dear Bob,

Thanks for surprising us with donuts for breakfast this morning. The kids and I were excited to eat a delicious maple bar with a cold glass of milk, in place of the usual cereal. However, next time, maybe just pick up a dozen. You know I have no willpower. You see, I just finished my 5th donut, and now I'm feeling a bit sick.

Love you,

Big Mama ( 33 weeks)

P.S. The pics. just aren't doin' em' justice. My feet and ankles....unflatteringly (if that's even a word) swollen!

A tremedous time

2010-04-26T17:31:00.014-06:00

Fourteen years ago this summer, Miss Heather and friends threw me a bridal shower. This past weekend, we were lucky enough to do the same for her. So we held it in Pocatello and my dear friend...really one of the best people I know....flew all the way from NC for us to celebrate her BIG LOVE! Because she is so amazing, I always knew she'd marry someone special. She truly found him, and we couldn't be happier for her.

After the shower we ladies snuck away to Lava for the night where we all stayed together in a little house on Main St., went for Thai food, soaked in the hot pools, and stayed up WAY too late, laughing and having a great time.

Heather gets married July 3rd in NC. Bob and I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just a few short weeks after baby boy is born, we'll make the trip, just the three of us. I know the timing isn't the greatest for me. I'll have a brand new baby, and will be real lucky if by then I can squeeze into my bride's maid dress. But Sunday afternoon, after the long drive home, I told Bob all about my amazing weekend with Heather, her family, and friends. I assured him, if it was just a glimpse of the festivities we have to look forward to at the wedding in NC in July.....no matter what OUR circumstances are....

We're going to have a tremendous time!

Around the Corner

2010-04-20T22:06:00.008-06:00

From Good bye hair

The man has GREAT hair,

(I would know. I was cursed with the opposite.)

and although I beg him not to,

every* single* spring......

He Shaves It!

He'll keep it this way all summer long and late into the fall.

But this time, as the kids took turns buzzing it all away,

I was surprised that I was actually a little excited.

You see, I realized something.

For me

Bob.....shaving his head...

if nothing else,

serves as a pleasant reminder

SUMMER'S RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!

Wishing Her Back

2010-04-18T22:22:00.017-06:00

From Miss Nelly

Although I have a million pics. of the kids with Miss Nelly, these are the last three, taken Friday afternoon, our last day spent with her before we took her to a new family. It is now Sunday night, the kids are asleep in their beds, and I am still crying! I know Bob and I talked about finding her a new home, for a million different reasons, but I never thought we'd ACTUALLY do it. "You can't really do it." I would tell him. I mean, we had been through so much with her in the last year. Now she was part of the family. "Yes, I can." he would say. "She's just a dog." She was just a dog, and she did turn our world (and especially our house) upside down, but we LOVED her and she was OURS.

It all happened so fast. Bob found her a good home, and just like that.....she's gone. The kids and I are missing her something terrible. I had no idea how much Nelly being gone would affect us. Let's just say, the last few days have been ROUGH.

Bob is quite annoyed with me. I feel like he's being unsympathetic, and he thinks I am being over dramatic. I think we're probably both a little guilty of the two. But the fact of the matter is....she was pretty much, MY dog, well, and Avery's of course. But, it was me who took care of her. She was here with me all day, she followed me and laid at my feet wherever I went, she ran to me when I came home, rode with me in the car, and loved me unconditionally.

I remember Britt calling me last year so upset over the loss of their family cat. I sympathized with her, but really.....I didn't get it. I had one dog growing up. He was mean and ornery, and I couldn't stand the mutt. I never considered myself an animal or dog, for that matter, lover, but after having Nelly, I now understand. I understand how attached you can become to an animal. I understand how their unconditional love and always being there is something you count on. I understand how difficult and heart wrenching it is to lose them.

The kids have been stronger about her leaving than I thought. Of course, they've shed tears and said little things such as, "I can't believe she's not coming back", "I want her home so bad", "You've taken away my best friend", "I am so sad", and those little words have simply broken my heart. But, overall, I've been relieved with how resilient they've been.....lots better than their weak Mama, that's for sure.

The reality is.....Miss Nelly went to a great family who has two older dogs to keep her company and become her new friends. She was a surprise to a 10 year old girl who adores her. We received word tonight that she is adjusting well, happy, and has become the 10 year old girl's new shadow. So, I'll keep reminding myself that Nelly is O.K. and tell myself this is for the best. I know when our new baby comes soon...it will be.

But right now, that's a really hard thing to do

because I'm struggling a little

to muster up the courage

TO STOP.......

WISHING HER BACK.

I So Wanted This

2010-04-15T22:25:00.014-06:00

These pics. crack me up. Look at me, I was so excited to be showing.

Oh, ya, there's a baby in there and I am sooooooo pregnant.
I mean really, I am getting big, and you can totally tell I'm pregnant, right?!

What in the world was I thinking? Seriously....If you could see me NOW...WOW!

It's on!

The last few months.

Mama's getting big.

Mama's waddling.

Mama's unbalanced.

Mama's cheeks are fat and feet are swollen.

Mama's back is aching.

Mama's getting stares in the grocery store.

Really, every one's eyes...right to the big belly.

Bob says I can't really blame em'.

Mama's getting laughed at by people who see my big self out running (VERY SLOWLY, I might add).

I am not kidding. I see them looking and laughing.

It's a site, I know.

Kim and I were stopped at a busy intersection. Two men in a truck were looking and laughing.

I looked down at myself.

I am too cheap to buy pregnancy running gear.

Hell, I'm too cheap to buy regular, proper running gear.

So, my pants are too tight and my belly is busting out of my sweatshirt.

My hands were warm so I stuffed my gloves in my front pockets, which happen to be straight out in front, not on the side, where they would lay properly.....if the sweatshirt fit!

Kim stops and takes a good look at me.

"What is that?" she questions, pointing to the silly looking gloves.

"My gloves." I reply. "I know, it looks like I have elephantitis. I look like a freak."

The fact that I roll out of bed not tending to my hair, which is in complete disaray, or my face, which has smeared, last night's mascara running down my cheeks...is NO help.

A circus freak on the side of the road.

We both realize this is the TRUTH. We start to laugh. We start to laugh HARD.

The light changes and it's our turn to cross the street.

I make a dash for it. Kim stays. Hunched over, laughing hysterically, she can't move.

I take off without her and laughing hard too, darn well nearly wet myself right there in the middle of the busy intersection.

Bob and I hit the streets for a mile or two the other day.

"Do I look weird?" I ask.

"Yes, yes, you do. You look weird."

"But, it's alright."

Oh, good then. That makes me feel so much better. Thanks babe.

Men, they know how to say all the right things, don't they?!

I'll get brave soon and post a pic. of me now.....

chunky, awkward, and sporting some real, ugly clothes.

The previous line.....yup, it pretty accurately sums up exaxtly how I feel right now.

However, I will TRY HARD not to complain....at least not too much...

because as dimented as this sounds.....

The truth of the entire matter is....

I am HAPPY to be pregnant.

I wanted this.

I SO WANTED THIS!

Spring Break 2010

2010-04-13T22:50:00.007-06:00

Holy snow and freezing cold weather............

It doesn't look much like spring break does it?

Uh, ya it does...when you live in IDAHO!

Thanks Tyler and Mal for getting my car ready for the LONG drive home.....just a little picture proof that you spoiled us our entire stay.

From Rexburg to Boise we traveled home Friday, the last day of spring break. Ironically enough, the sun was shining and the roads were clear until about 30 min. outside of Boise. Then the storm hit. It was a white out. Tight fisted and white knuckled, Big Mama tried to calm her nerves by giving the restless kids a task.
"What were your 5 favorite things of the trip?" I asked.
They each named a bundle, they really did have a fabulous time, but the one thing they all said in common was....
Eating at Perkins with grandma and grandpa.

Hmmm.....after celebrating Owen's birthday, taking them swimming, riding horses, four wheelers, riding in a Sheriff truck, the bouncy house, dying eggs, performing a talent show, staying up late watching movies, playing with cousins, eating and playing at Ross Park, seeing our family and dear friends......
Who knew they could be so easily pleased?
Apparently.......Not ME!

From 4-wheelers

Thanks everyone for housing us, feeding us, entertaining us, and most of all

PUTTING UP WITH US!

We love you MUCH and miss ya already!

From Winders

From Andrea and Bridger

From Owen's birthday

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/bke5t1z2PSa4ji4wAYqO3zIhaflPT6kGd261rcUNNoE?feat=directlink

From Family

Beat Coach Pete!

2010-04-10T16:11:00.016-06:00

Every year Coach Pete sponsors a scholarship run. He'll donate $5 for every person who beats him in a 5 K race. All the proceeds go to scholarships at BSU.

So we woke early this morning, decked ourselves in our ORANGE and BLUE, and took the whole fam damily downtown to beat Coach Pete.

Bob and Pay were DETERMINED to beat him.

When the race started, they had no idea where Coach Pete was. They wound through the masses, jumping over bushes, up over curbs, trying desperately to get out in front. A mile and a half into the race they stopped to walk. It was then that they witnessed Coach Pete running right by em'. After that, it was on! They took off, passed him, and never looked back. They entered the stadium, crossed the finish line, and were congratulated and handed an "I Beat Pete" shirt. Just then they heard the roar of the crowd. They looked back, sure enough it was Pete, entering the stadium, finishing just 200 yards behind them.

They barely beat him, but they DID IT....and have the shirts to prove it!

Owen, Avery, and Big Mama.......almost dead last.
Needless to say, our shirts were a little different.

I sure did slow em' down.
But, hey, we had A LOT of fun in the process.

From Payton Pete Run

Boy was I proud of Miss Payton. At nine years of age she has more drive and determination that her Mama ever has. I feel bad I don't have any pics. of my girl running.

From Avery Pete Run

From Owen Pete Run

The Beat Coach Pete Scholarship Run.....totally worth it.

We love ya, Pete (pretty much worship ya around here, really.)

but next year....

YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Over player

2010-04-05T10:18:00.014-06:00

I'm an "over player". I hear a song I like and I can't get enough. It's overplayed in the house, on the stereo in the car, the computer, ipod, you name it. My kids are the same way. Last summer it was Miley Cyrus', Party In The USA, and Black Eyed Peas', I Got A Feeling. We blasted em' every chance we had.

Most people find this completely annoying, I know. I'm reminded quickly of the time my college roomies actually hid Sheryl Crow's cd from me because they just couldn't stomach hearing Strong Enough one more time. Man, did I love that song.

So, I heard Train's, Soul Sister weeks ago on Miss Angie B's blog....since then...HOOKED.

This song makes me want to...

* burst out singing (hurting the ear drums of all those around me with my TERRIBLE singing voice)

* dance crazy-happy with my kids

* reminisce about old times

* call a soul sister

* serenade Bob (because that man CAN cut a rug, and watching him is the ONLY drug I need!)

And it even seems, on days when I'm feeling it, to lift the weight of the world. Because sometimes it lands like a brick and rests heavily on my shoulder.

Da' Bunny

2010-04-03T21:26:00.012-06:00

From Easter 2010

When Bob and I were first married we had to figure out how to spend the holidays. You know, do we celebrate and follow the traditions of my family or his? It was tricky at first. For example, Santa always wrapped the presents in his family, but never did in mine.

Then there was Easter. Bob's family celebrated the Saturday before. The bunny came, they had huge egg hunts, and celebrated Da' Bunny the entire day.

I thought this was strange, until I had kids.

Now I think it's GENIUS.

So, we celebrate Da' Bunny the Sat. before too.

We have the entire day to play.

We aren't rushed to get to church.

We don't rush home from Easter Sunday service to hunt for eggs or play with our Easter toys.

Easter Sunday is so much more enjoyable. We can focus on the Savior and Resurrection.

We have a nice dinner, relax, and enjoy the special day.

So, today Da' Bunny came. He left a trail of eggs for the kids starting from their little beds, leading down the stairs to their first Scavenger Hunt clue.

They ran inside and out, finding clues that eventually led to their Easter baskets.

We spent the windy day flying kites in the backyard. We soon learned, cheap kites, not that successful!

Later we took the kids to see How To Train Your Dragon in 3D.

Two thumbs up on that. Way up.

It was a great day.

Last year I made this post.

It amazes me still that my LOVE for these kids continues to grow. When I wrote that post, 12 months ago, I didn't think it could get any bigger.

I spent last week in Pocatello with the kids for spring break.

We had such a nice visit with friends and family.

I'll post about that later.

The kids were so good.

I mean, sure, they had their moments.

But it was like, they knew. It was just mom, taking care, packing and moving bags, traveling, all on her big mama own.

So, they cut me some slack. Gave me a break. They were enjoyable and fun.

They were GOOD.

We slept in three different places, over the duration of the week.

But at each house, all four of us slept together in the same room....

for 7, straight, nights in a row.

Even though I felt a little half empty...missing my Bob...

Every night I lay there listening to the little ones breathe, I was happy.

Happy to be their mom. Happy to have each of them in my life. Happy that they were mine.

As I watched general conference today, I learned a great deal. I was uplifted and reminded.

What I took most from the talks today was how important my role of a mother is.

And alongside being Bob's wife, I truly want to be successful in this role, as a mother, more than any other in life....

because these kids have brought me more happiness and joy than I thought possible, and they deserve someone TRYING HARD on their behalf.

So, thanks Pay, Ave, and Owe...for all the fun times we share, and especially for the memories made today, celebrating......

Da' Bunny!

Please excuse...My Rambling Ways

2010-03-26T08:59:00.020-06:00

(CAUTION: This is me, journaling. Boring and time wasting...for everyone else. Save yourself, and skip this post!)

Things are happening around here.

I have pictures to prove, share, and document.

Successfully downloading pics. onto my new computer,

NOT HAPPENING.

It's driving me CRAZY.

Baby boy turned four....FOUR, can you believe it?

Big Mama's getting BIGGER, I know you can believe that.

We're 29 weeks in.

It's going too fast.

Clint was in town yesterday and dropped off our crib.

He's lost over 20 lbs. and is, once again, looking like himself.

Lookin' good, my little brother. I am proud of you!

He left the crib in the garage.

I look at it and wonder....

Where in the world is that going to fit?

Panic.

Let's see, we'll put the bunk beds together and put the crib on the other wall.

Three, little monkeys, in one, tiny room.

It's all GOOD.

Avery's making all kinds of cool things at school,

things she wears on her head.

The pics. of her wearing them with her tiny, little face poking through...

PRICELESS!

Payton has a bestie, for her very first time.

They share clothes, chat on the phone, and even hang up saying, "Love ya."

This makes me laugh.

She learned this from me.

I tell all my friends, "I love you!"

Most people find it weird.

Think I'm weird.

It's true. I love them. Why not tell em'?

My bestie, Brittney, came with her kids for four days.

We've been besties since second grade.

Second grade...no joke.

She's FAMILY.

We sure had a good time,

dragging 8 kids everywhere.

Bob's been MIA for an entire week.

I found a sweet note he left on my dresser mirror.

I read it every morning.

It makes me smile.

Me being pregnant does something strange to him.

It seems he likes me, maybe even a little more, big and carrying his child.

Thank goodness for that.

Ewww....I know.

Enough MUSH.

I've been trying desperately for 6 months to complete a HUGE project for work.

The deadline is Monday.

This Monday!

AHHHHHHHHH!

After the kids are snoring,

I'm up super late, working away.....

This Mama's exhausted.

Last night the plan was to get it on!

I was going to make BIG strides with this project nearing its due date.

Kansas St. played Xavier.

I couldn't pull myself away.

Work...shmurk

That game.....Wow!

I called Kim, all excited, thinking she'd be watchin'

She didn't answer.

I called Bob.

Miles and miles away in Milwaukee, up entirely too late,

HE was watching.

We laughed at how awesome the double over time was,

the amazing shots,

"What a game, what a game!"

We love March Madness.

Then we DREAMED.

We do this a lot.

We'd be rich.

We'd GO to the games,

bring our kids.

We'd cheer and have the time of our lives.

Some day....

Oh, how I wish.

Needless to say, not much work was completed.

I'm leaving for HOME today.

It's been almost a year since I've been.

Sat. I will drive to Utah with girlfriends for a funeral.

My dear friend, Trish lost her mom to cancer.

The weight of the world is on Trish's shoulders right now.

I wish I could lift it, at least just a bit.

For her, my heart is ACHING.

I wish I could be there to help, do something. It's bothering me.

We'll stay in Pocatello Sunday.

My dear, old dad is being made a bishop of the university ward.

All the family is coming to support him.

He'll be great. He's a GOOD, GOOD man.

Maybe the best I know.

Ya all know how I feel about HIM.

Bob insists on me waiting for him and leaving late, late tonight.

Otherwise he won't see us for another week.

Somehow, I think he'll be....... just fine.

The kids and I are staying.

We're planning to spend spring break with

family and friends.

Can't say I'm looking forward to the weather in Pocatello.

But, I sure am looking forward to seeing some of my very favorite peeps.

...and on that note,

I'll finally STOP.

Asking once more,

Please excuse......My Rambling Ways.

Logan Ladies

2010-03-19T09:57:00.005-06:00

My Logan ladies were my family while I was away at college. I was blessed to have these AMAZING girls in my life. Man did we have some FUN times. Still today, we get together once a year to reunite. It is a weekend I look forward to all year. Because they are some of the BEST people I know, I leave them feeling revived, wanting to be a better person, friend, wife and mother. I can't thank them enough for doing that for me.

I love ya, Logan Ladies!

Sugar Lovin' Lips

2010-03-17T12:52:00.017-06:00

Miss Molly sent me a link to a blog. She said the girl's post reminded her of ME. The author wrote about buying her favorite childhood candy, Peeps and Cadbury eggs, once a year and eating them just to bring back memories. However, she found the candy entirely too sweet and couldn't remember why she ever liked them in the first place.

What reminded Molly of me was the candy part, not the finding it too sweet. You see, I consume more candy than probably anyone I know, next to Mal. It's a close tie between the two of us....crazed Peep lovers.

When Molly and I were in college we'de have big exams to study for, before hitting the library, we went to Smiths to load up on "treats." I went straight to the bulk food aisle. I would get bags of candy, butter-mints were my vice. I would meet Molly at the register to find her waiting for me, holding an apple in her hand. An apple? Yes, it's true. No wonder that girl had a killer body everyone admired, and all this girl had was a mouth full of cavities! Every dentist's dream...that's what I call myself.

She and our other roomies would have 'no sugar' contests. They'd eliminate candy and see who could go the longest without. I wouldn't even try. They were so frustrated with me. "Come on, you can't even try for one day?" they would ask. "No!" I would respond. "I can't!" and believe me, I didn't! Then they would have 'no DC' contests. This was code for Diet Coke. They wouldn't even let me participate. I'd win hands down. This girl only sipped a DC if it was 110 degrees, I was parched beyond belief, and there was NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING else to wet my whistle.

I write this post as I sit and eat a new, orange flavor- filled, Cadbury egg. It's good, but I'm still partial to the original. If I told you how many creamy eggs and boxes of Peeps I have consumed in the last three weeks, you wouldn't believe me!

It makes me wonder...

worry, even a little,

"When will MY taste buds mature, like the author of that post?"

"When will I stop craving the 100% sugar candy? The ones most people find repulsive, circus peanuts, Cadbury eggs, Peeps, candy corn, mellow cream pumpkins, etc.?"

"When will I be able to take a sip of a diet soda without making a face and wondering how in the world everyone drinks the stuff?"

Do you think it will happen? It's bound to, right?! Inevitable?!

I certainly hope NOT. Because even though it would be a mighty good thing for BIG MAMA'S hips,

it would be a terribly SAD, SAD day for this girl's...

Sugar Lovin' Lips!