the "m" word

Yes, the video contains my baby boy blowing an unruly amount of mucus out his tiny nostrils and vomiting freely all over his adorable, baby-wearing, white onesie. I'm apologizing for that in advance, however, it ALSO contains a sound, a word, mock me if you will, that sounds an awful lot like, "mum."

Reason is flaunting a rather impressive campaign, one that's trying to convince me there's no way Max could possibly have said, "mum." He's declaring that it's a mere coincidence that the sound Max's small voice made, just at the exact time the camera was rolling, was indeed peculiarly similar to the name my children call me, but just not so.

However, my Heart tells me Max's sound was undoubtedly the term of endearment, "mum." A word so simple, yet monumentally hefty on the mama scale, because there's nothin', and I repeat, nothin' like hearing your babes say the "m" word!

(Please forgive my absolute ridiculous voice in this video, but I'm convinced there's something about talking to babies that brings out the inner cheese ball in all of us!)

c.h.a.n.g.e.s

Since September, six year old Avery has experienced a lot of changes. Exciting changes for her, like attending school ALL day, losing her two front teeth (yup, the other is missing now too), playing soccer, and wearing her anxiously awaited but truthfully needed, stylish, pink spectacles. These changes for me, are becoming quite apparent each, passing day. Changes that seem to creep up behind me and whisper ever so softly in my open ear,

"Your baby girl is growing up. "

With another child or two of mine I would worry about these changes making them feel insecure or them twisting their small fingers together and holding them tightly in a way that might superstitiously wish them each away. With Avery I don't need to fret. She never mentions caring what others will think. As she dresses for school, combs her hair, puts on her coat, and walks out the door, I know the choices she makes are her own. She beats to her individual drum, and to me her music is inspiring. With her, what you see is what you get, and although it isn't always as reverent or appropriate as her mother would wish, and I might find my fuse running mostly short when dealing with her somewhat outlandish behavior, I too realize that her differences are a gift. She is Miss Avery, with a mind and body of her own in which she embraces with happiness in her little oblivious groove, because she knows no other way.

Quite frankly, I am truly, most graciously relieved, because as her mother I grew up fearing my own music and spending more time than I wished, beating to the drum of my less brave self. I look back now and wish I had been wiser. I wish I had known that doing the things I wanted might not have been easy, but I would have been true to myself, ultimately, feeling more at ease in my individual shoes and unversed, fragile skin.

I carried on my shoulders a heavy sack of insecurities, probably no different or vigorous than anyone else's. Insecurities, none the less, that won battles that I wish I had fought harder for, like in high school when I chose not to play soccer, my favorite sport, my sophomore year because it wasn't "cool" back then, or backing down when wanting to run for junior class president because losing was a much larger risk than my feeble self wanted to take. And those are just a few minute examples of a large pile of regrets that lost the battle to a less heroic self who sometimes just wasn't adventurous enough to pave her individual path.

Avery, I hope you will always know how valuable you are. I hope you will thrive just being YOU. Believe in yourself, because you, my girl, know yourself best. If there is something you like that makes you happy and proud, then go for it. Don't shy away from it because it might not be everyone else's first choice. Know that your losses and failures won't define you unless you let them.

This advice comes from me now, after I've been there and done that. And peacefully, in my late 30's, my sack of insecurities is much smaller. Yes, it's still there, but it seems this wiser self knows better how to tame it. I understand my purpose and embrace my roles enthusiastically. Life is good and the older I get it seems to just get better. I have learned to love big and have chosen happiness. I forgive myself daily, which I know is a must because unfortunately, I'm still making mistakes. I don't strive for perfection but laugh at my inabilities. This once unversed, fragile skin is weathering slowly, and as it does, I find myself accepting the things I cannot change and wanting more to enhance the things I can. Oh boy is it nice to let go and stop stewing over the things I might want for, wish I had or were. Instead I am thankful for the person I am, because each of us are God's gift and when I think of my self as that, simply that and nothing less, I like what I see more and more........

magical. get. away

From Roaring Springs

I miss summer because I always had Roaring Springs. It was like this magical little get away. A place where I could escape the grind, go and relax, and enjoy the sunshine with my water loving' kids.

In the months between June and Sept., when days felt heavy, I would load up the fam., throw in the towels, sunscreen, shades, stroller, pack a giant lunch, and off we went. See ya later responsibility. Adios messy house, loads of laundry, phone calls, and dinner to be made. Yup, leaving you alone, all you "things to do" on a giant list that sometimes felt like a long chain, pulling me down slowly. I'd avoid it ALL and spend the entire day at the water park, me and the kids, each of us, loving every care free moment for our very own reasons.

Today, I am grumpy. I am feeling sad. I am completely overwhelmed. Bottom line.....I am TIRED. This too shall pass, I know, I know, but it sure makes me long for the summer months and Roaring Springs...my magical, little, get a way. Cuz if I could turn back the clock and it was a warm summer day, you can bet that's exactly where we'd be.

Lil' Rebel

Hmm, so much for that long awaited Bieber Do.

You know, in his "skins", sporting his new Mohawk, with a birthday party tattoo on his right forearm, wearing a trampoline burn on his cheekbone...

My shy, sweet, most kind boy, who has my heart and melts it daily...

almost looks.......

like a lil' REBEL.

Game. Day. Baby.

Boy do we look forward to game day.

For us it means...

decking out in Orange and Blue, making our favorite foods, hanging with family and friends, cheering really, really loud for the Broncos, and having A LOT of FUN.

In a nutshell.......

WE LOVE BOISE STATE FOOTBALL!

GO BRONCOS!

Heather. Jeff. Baby to be

From Heather

I had six best friends in high school. We were a group of very different girls who somehow meshed together forming an amazing friendship and having just about as much fun together as humanly possible. We were tight. We got along. There was never a dull or lonely moment in high school, because of them, and I realize now, just how rare that was. People often tell me that they are surprised I am still so close to my high school friends. If you knew these girls, you'd know why. They are some of the very best, smartest, most beautiful, talented, good, caring people I have ever known. I'll hold tight to them forever.

Miss Heather, one of the six, had a dream wedding in NC in July. She married, Jeff, an incredible man who couldn't be more perfect for her. Although, I was supposed to stand by her side as a bride's maid and Bob and I had purchased our tickets a year in advance and had a dream vacation planned with just the two of us and our brand new baby.......everything went awry. I remember the day I called Heather to tell her we just couldn't make it. She wasn't surprised. She knew our situation and told me it was so much more important to stay home and take care of my baby, but I broke down. Missing her wedding was another reminder of my uncertain world and just how much things were out of my control. I wanted so much to be there. She understood and said in no way did she expect me to come, but I was sad...really, really sad.

Trish and Megan called me the morning of the wedding. They filled me in with every beautiful detail making me feel as if I were there. They smothered me with kind words and told me how much they missed me and wished I was there. The phone call meant the world to me.

I missed Heather's big day in July, but her papa Hoge threw her a reception in Pocatello a few weekends ago, and we weren't going to miss it for the world. It was almost surreal finally seeing Heather, hugging and congratulating her on one of the biggest decisions of her life, and then it was really surreal when she and Jeff announced that they were expecting a baby! I nearly fell out of my chair.

I have always been so proud of Heather. She is one of the most successful business women I know. I marvel at her lavish life style and jet setting the country on business, but whenever I would want to talk about her life, she was more interested in mine. She was envious of the chaos children brought, and wanted more than anything to start a family. Her dream is coming true, and I am so excited for she and Jeff to embark on the adventure of parenthood because I know how truly great they are going to be and how fortunate that child is to have them as parents.

I enjoyed the night, seeing and spending time with dear friends. It went too fast, as it always does. As the evening was ending and we were getting close to saying our good bye's, Heather brought me a beautiful white bag full of fun surprises. I loved every thoughtful gift, but my favorite by far was a video she put together. It was titled, Best Friends Forever. I watched it late one night after we had arrived home. I was sitting in the middle of my messy office, thoughts on my mind of all the things I needed to get done. I popped in the video, and as it played I laughed and laughed, cried and cried, enjoying so much the music from the 90's and the pics. of all my dear friends and the crazy good times we had in high school, on spring breaks, in college, and even afterwards. That stroll down memory lane was exactly what I needed.

Heather, Trish, Megan, Brittney, Molly, and Les....

I hope you know that so much of who I am today is because of your friendship. I have learned many great life lessons from each of you. Thanks for being a big part of my past, for making it great, for giving me so many incredible memories, for supporting and loving me in spite of my many flaws, and for continuing to care about me today.

You will ALL forever be.....my dear friends.

I love you.

E.S.C.A.P.E

LEAVING for St. George today.....

Hoping I don't MISS my babies too much.....

Wishing BOB much luck as he holds down the fort.....

Going to cheer good friends to the finish of a BIG RACE.....

Excited to ESCAPE from the grind and enjoy the SUNSHINE.....

Thanks for the fun SONG, Angie B. How is it you know me so well?

Oh, boy did I need a CATCHY tune to blast,

while this mama BUSTS a busy, busy move to......

get on out of here.

Miss Pay

From Payton

Miss Pay continues to tell me I need to update my blog, you know, a new title and last year's photo removed. I have lots of pics. and fun times awaiting a post, but I'm so far behind, I don't know where to start. And really, for me, the lack of upkeep is just another reminder of how much my life has changed since little Max was born. Ultimately, I find myself wishing for more hours in the day, but they're not hours to fix my somewhat abandoned blog (although, I DO enjoy the blogging!) they're hours to sit and hold my baby longer, wrestle with and throw the football to Owen, color and read with Avery, sit and listen to you, Pay, tell me about the boys in your class, and teach ya a "move" in soccer.

Our lives have changed since Max was born. Our once simple world isn't so simple anymore. But, for some strange reason, the thought of it getting back on track, frightens me, because this chaos the encompasses our lives right now, is strangely enough, bringing me more joy than when things were "easy." You see when things are smooth sailing, we become complacent in our lives, we simply take the important things for granted.

I'm not asking for more storms, I'm just grateful for the lessons learned after the weathering. They're helping us enjoy more fully when things are good, making us better people (boy do we need improving!), allowing us to recognize the joy good friends bring, ushering our family (near and far) closer, aiding us in seeing a little more clearly, the "big picture"... and last, but not least, appreciating how really blessed we are.

Favorites

From Boys

My favorite days are the days we can stay home all morning and just be.

My favorite days are the days I have TIME to pick up the house, make beds, throw in laundry, and plan the evening's meal.

My favorite days are the days I get to stay in my pajamas till' noon, wrestle Owen on the couch or the trampoline outside, and sit, rock, feed, and smooch all over Max's baby soft skin.

My favorite days are the days Owen, Max and I sit on the porch and wait for the girls to ride their bikes home from school. I always get a good laugh watching Avery come around the corner in her over sized helmet peddling like a maniac trying to stay up with her long legged sister.

My favorite days are the days Robert comes home from work and sits on the back porch swing with the kids, enjoying the sunshine while opening the mail.

My favorite nights are the nights we sit around the table together sharing a meal, not having to rush out the door to make it to a practice.

My favorite nights are the nights Bob says he's going to mow the lawn but gets side tracked playing soccer and tag with the kids and does this until it's time to come in for bed.

My favorite nights are the nights we get to lay and listen to the kids read aloud before they go off to dreamland.

Let's BE REAL. Life is crazy busy, and with soccer, piano, homework and everything else life throws at us, a day like this RARELY happens around here. But, this is how it went down yesterday, and boy was it nice.

Happy Day

I know you said said your birthday was, "Just another day."

But, WE sure had fun celebrating YOU.

Thanks for being our world and making our lives good.

We LOVE you!