Whoa Nelly!

I wrote my last post late at night when I was mega tired, frustrated, and definitely overly sensitive. Can I blame it on the pregnancy hormones? I was feeling misunderstood by family and friends who didn't mean any harm but made innocent comments to me about my blog that I just couldn't seem to get past. It really was my fault, my worrisome self, getting the best of me and my blog!

I woke the next morning and wondered why in the world I didn't just delete that post. I kick myself for it, really. Then I read all the comments. I was a little embarrassed. Please believe me when I tell ya, "I didn't mean for the pity party my peeps, but I must say, your comments meant more than you'll know, and if I'm ever in a fight, I sure do know lots of bad ass (sorry Forrest) friends and family who are willing to back this girl up! Whoa Nelly!"

It was refreshing to hear that you too have felt this way from time to time. I was relieved that many of you understood and mostly post the "good times" as well. I know all of you who write in "blog land" understand that it isn't reality. For example, my kids aren't perfect, but 10% of the time, they come so close, and that's when I blog about em'! You all get my drift.

Unfortunately, I will continue being my ridiculous, dramatic, nerdy self. Thirty five years in the making, it's who I am, and there's no changing this now. However, I am making a promise to myself, at this very moment, to ACT this way..... much less often!

Blogging

I call myself the blog stalker. Surfing the web and finding blogs to read is a guilty time waster of mine. There are a lot of GOOD people out there, doing GOOD things, inspiring me and giving me ideas on how to make life better. I am in love with all of them. I read about friends and loved ones and keep up with their daily adventures, and this makes me feel comfort because I love my peeps, those near and far. I also love to blog myself. I enjoy writing about our lives and documenting things with pictures. I have always been an avid journal writer. I have stacks of completed journals in my night stand. I remember spending countless nights in my freshman dorm room with my sidekick, Molly, reading about our high school days and laughing at how crazy we were and how much stinkin' fun we had.

Writing is therapeutic for me. Getting my thoughts out on paper and especially reading them later, seems to teach me lessons about myself. I enjoy reading about the old times, the good times, the fun things friends and family and I have done together, and all the past experiences that have made me who I am today.

When I was introduced to blogging I was going through a rough time. I felt like my world was crashing down around me, and I didn't want to write about anything. I spent those days sulking and wondering if I would ever have a reason to blog. But we're stronger than we think, time heals all wounds, and somehow we get through. So, the last few years have been good. I hope and pray they'll remain this way, but who am I kidding? I know life throws us trials unexpectedly, and this is just part of the plan. I hope the next time a crisis hits I can be stronger than I was the last, because really I wasn't strong at all. Good thing my amazing support system was rock solid, because I really don't know how I would have survived without them.

I'm writing this because I've recently had a few comments said aloud to me about my blog. It has had me "thinking" (which for me can mean worrying, and this is a weakness of mine) and even deleting posts because now I am concerned what others are thinking rather than just posting what I intended. It made me come to a realization. I can't worry about what anyone else thinks, good or bad, about what I write, and lately it seems I either decide on or against a post judging on what others might think about it. I can't do that. I have to be me, which really is the dramatic, nerdy, ridiculous girl that I am. And I have to stop comparing my blog to the much better blogs out there, which are all of them in my opinion, because it isn't a contest, right? I can't compete, more importantly, I don't have the energy to do so, and that just defeats the purpose of blogging, which really....I love.

You see, blogging serves a purpose for me personally and that is an outlet, an escape from the daily grind to write and document the happy things in my life. I don't usually write about the bad things, because I don't want to remember them or read about them later. Of course I vent about daily frustrations from time to time....but not the BIG stuff. However, in doing that, I don't want to create the illusion that things are perfect round' here either, because that's not the case. As hard as I try, perfection is a word far from accurately describing this household, and all of you who know us know this is the truth!

I guess what I am trying to say is, "I'm sorry if this blog seems pretentious, is dumb, annoying, negative, cheesy, boastful, whatever!" Then I want to smack myself up side the head and say, "STOP!" I can't please everyone in life, why in the world would I think I could on my blog?

So, I'm going to continue to blog about the things that come to me, the things that are weighing on my mind, the things that mean nothing but just pop out, the things that excite me, the things I want to document, the things I want to remember, however frivolous, lame, forced, poorly written, too spiritual or not spiritual enough, or maybe even sometimes great (to me), they might be. I vow to try harder to stop comparing myself with the amazing bloggers out there and try to blog for myself without any regard for how it seems to anyone else.

To Be, or Not To Be

A 70.3 Ironman

This is MY question!

The training started last week. He's been weighing over the decision for some time. The past few weeks I've heard a lot of groans, probably nots, no, it's not going to happen, I don't have time, I can't do that again.

But last night, he rode his trainer for an hour.

This morning he pulled himself out of bed just after 5 a.m and left for the pool to swim.

Who does that if they're not thinking about a race, right?

So, is it going to be, or not going to be.....because this girl needs an ANSWER. This wife needs to prepare for the 6 months of serious TRAINING, in other words, "husband hiatus!"

I think I am in more fully this time, Bob. Most things are easier the second time around right? I promise to have less melt downs and tell you, "No way!" when you whine about quitting.

I must admit, even though you loathe the thing, I really like seeing you in your one-piece suit.

So, I say....

Quit the mulling around big boy

and......

"Just Do It!"

Love you, Babe!

It's A Boy!

This morning, around 9: 30 a.m., we all gathered round' in the small, crowded ultra sound room to hear, "It's A BOY!"

We all guessed it was so. No one was surprised.

The girls were sad, hoping for another sister.

Owen was glad, wanting a baby brother.

Bob swore he didn't care either way. "Are you nervous?" I asked him in the waiting room. "Why would I be nervous?" he replied. "I'll be happy either way." He acted cool as a cat. Please......the man is doing exhilarated air punches in his car all day long. I just know it!

Me, I secretly wanted a girl. I don't know if it is because I have loved my little ladies and one sweet boy, or that I know this will be our last, and it makes me sad that I won't get another girl. But, I am HAPPY! It really didn't matter, either way. I know this is best. Owen will get a brother. We'll even out the score, and it will sure help with the bedroom situation in our small but cozy home!

We all walked out of the waiting room and had a good chuckle after Payton announced, "Ozzie has arrived!"

You see, since I was the one to mention the name, Beckham to Aunt Karrie Jo and Uncle Aaron, and they loved it and ended up naming their first boy, Beckham, they feel inclined to name our next child. They sent Bob a text the other night...."How about Ozzie?!"

The scary thing is, we're calling this baby Ozzie. Bob was writing the name on a napkin at dinner the other night. Writing the name, oh, that is not a good sign. Ozzie? Really? All I can think of is Ozzie Osbourne, his posters lining the wall of my besties dark room in high school. His crazy music blaring on her stereo, and her dressing up as Ozzie for Halloween, you know, his name fake tattooed in between her knuckles. Oh, Trish, I get a good laugh just thinking of your crazy, fun self in high school!

Although I didn't know him at the time, Bob was a big fan of the man too. You can find some of his songs on our ipod still. Listening to them makes me shake my head and wonder how in the world he could be a fan of the madness. Sorry, Ozzie lovers!

Owen and Ozzie, I admit, it has a certain ring.....however, probably NOT going to be this baby's name. Sorry, Aaron and Karrie...keep trying! Time will tell what name transpires. For now, we can eliminate Lucy, Paige, Meg, and the many girl names we favored.

We're spreading the news......

It's A Boy!

Payton's 9th Birthday

It's been an eventful week for Miss Pay. She split open her eye and received her first stitches. She decided to chop off her long locks, so I asked her to strike a pose before she left. She wasn't feeling that. Whatever, this girl loves the camera!One last time for her favorite, 80's rock move.Ta Da.....

Payton's been wanting a digital camera for a really long time. She was cracking me up, she was so excited. She took lots of shots today. I'll post em' later. For her birthday she wanted to go tubing at Bogus Basin, so we'll take her and do the real celebrating Saturday.

It's hard for me to believe it was 9 years ago I had this little lady. We had a rough start, but she has been the best girl.

She helps me with everything from the house to the kids and does it all without a complaint. I truly don't know how I ever survived without her. She's the mini-mom around here. She's responsible and hard working and we love her for it!

I think my favorite thing about Payton is that she genuinely cares about people, has a big heart, and wears it on her sleeves.

Just this morning when her brother started to open her present I told him to stop, that it was Pay's present. "Oh, no, it's o.k. mom, he can open it, " she said with a smile. She truly didn't care. She was happy to see him happy.

Then today when I brought treats to her class her teacher asked her to choose one person to help her pass them out. Everyone raised their hand. I turned her way to see a look of complete agony on her face. She whispered to me, "Mom, I don't really want to choose one person, I am afraid it will hurt the other's feelings. Will you please just help me?"

I feel like I owe a lot to Payton. Her life has changed mine, this I know for certain. We tried for a baby for over three years. When I found out we were expecting and especially during my pregnancy I wanted to become more of the person I wanted her to have as a mother. This was life altering for me, and Payton is responsible for that and adding to my life in a way I never thought possible. I feel grateful every day that I am blessed to be her mother. My greatest desire is that we'll always be close, that she'll trust and rely on me, and know that I am there for her always. Payton makes me proud of her on a daily basis. She makes me laugh, and I enjoy spending time with her. My love for her is indescribable, and I hope she'll always know how special she is to her dad and me.

I love you, Payton Ally!

Nesting....maybe?

It all started a few weeks ago. I was feeling crowded, needing to de-junk, and simplify. I began by cleaning out every closet, drawer, cupboard in the house. It was a project, I tell ya. But, after seeing progress made, it felt amazing. Now I can actually open the game closet without anything falling on my head, walk in my closet without stepping over clothes and shoes, open the bathroom drawers and immediately find the toothpaste, walk around the desk in the office because all the piles of junk on the floor have been put away. I didn't realize how bad it was, until it was GONE, DONE, CLEAN!

I must say, it feels good. Sadly enough, I know it won't last long. That's life, in our household, at least. But, I'll enjoy it while it lasts and vow to try to keep on top of things!

So, my next project, the loud, bright yellow, wall in my kitchen. It must be changed. Every time I look at it it is like a siren goes off, alarming me that this wall needs paint, a change, a face-lift.....DESPERATELY! I've been intending to do so for over a year. It's going to get done. I can feel it!

Even the look of my blog was bothering me. It's ridiculous, I know. The background, colors, pictures everywhere, etc. It was overwhelming me. It too was simplified today. I don't know what's wrong with me. Could I be nesting already? I'm only 17 weeks along. I didn't think it happened until the end, if it happened at all.

Nesting.... maybe?

I can't be sure, but a big part of me....is starting to be a believer!

A Perfect Start To 2010

Since attending the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, we and the Chapmans have become pretty crazed Boise State fans. Alright, the Chapmans and I were hooked before. You can't watch the Broncos and not get excited, from the coaching staff to the players....they're AWESOME! However, it was harder for Bob to jump on the "fan wagon." You see, he played football for ISU, bleeds orange and black, and had a hard time succumbing to liking his rivals, the Broncos. But, it didn't take long, and since then, being part of Bronco Nation and following the Broncos has been a pretty fun ride, to say the least!

So, for Christmas this year, instead of buying presents for each other, Bob and I decided we'd go to the big game again!

We enjoyed the trip with a group of our fun friends ...Chapmans, Davis' and Taylors'.

Thanks guys!

Brandon's good friend was Bronco Libre. Apparently this guy will barely wear BSU colors to the games, however it was his son's dream to be on ESPN, so he had the costumes made and did this for him. They were the hit of the crowd, I tell ya. They were awesome and ended up making the cameras, newspapers, etc.! Pretty cool!

Kim's good friend, Devrea hooked us up with tickets. We purchased them through her but had no idea where they were. Last time we sat up as far as you could possibly sit. This year, 40 yard line, 25 rows up. We were stoked!Kim was our official "party planner" and organized a tailgate party. It was so fun to see all our friends from Boise, eat, hang out, and get pumped for the big game together.

This is Bob and me seconds after the big win. I can't tell ya how fun and exciting the game was. We, and the entire Bronco Nation, literally jumped up and down and screamed for three straight hours. Robert and I sat between and in front of some older ladies and gents. When we first took our seats, I felt bad and thought they were going to be pretty annoyed by our craziness. I am not exagerating when I say, every single game, Bob gets asked to sit down. It has started to really make me MAD! I thought it was going to happen again for sure. However, those sitting around us stood the whole time too and were just as intense as we were! Oh, boy was I was exhausted afterwards. No kidding, just being a fan is exhausting. Can you imagine being a player?! Ha, Ha!Oh, it was definitely worth every, hoot-hollerin' second!

Our weekend in AZ didn't disappoint.

It will go down in my memory book as one of my faves.

The weather was a perfect 70, no wind, not a cloud in the sunny sky.

Bob and I slept in every day, relaxed by the pool, and enjoyed every second of our little escape from REALITY!

We ate so much delicious food. The midnight sushi and chocolate sundaes at Houston's were my favorite for sure.

I stole oranges off of trees and tasted the most sour tasting fruit I've ever had!

I was introduced to Paradise Bakery and Trader Joes. Thumbs way up on both of them!

We laughed and had so much fun with our friends.

I met my blogging inspiration, Kara Jayne.

(I met her through blogging, just happened across her blog and fell in love...later found out she knew the Taylors....crazy small world it is! She lives in AZ so they met up at the game and I was able to meet her. She is even more adorable in person! I have learned so much, and adopted so many ideas about life, being a friend, mom, wife, etc. from her.)

The game was an exciting, nail-biter.....

and WE CAME OUT VICTORIOUSLY!!

I must say...

IT WAS A PERFECT START TO 2010!